Daredevil Prompt Post #12

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This post is for prompts involving characters from Netflix's Daredevil.

Now that The Defenders prompt post is live, all crossovers between anyone in the four individual shows should go over there. Prompts only including characters that appear in Daredevil should still go here.



Rules:

• General
  
  1. YKINMKATO. Play nice. Respect others. If you don't like something, scroll on.
  
  
  2. All comments must be anon. If you would like to be politely banned to avoid anon-failing, leave a logged-in comment on the mod post or pm the mod account.
  
  
  3. Subject lines should only be changed if you're posting a prompt or a fill (indicators like OP or Author!Anon should go in the body of the comment).
  
  
  4. RPF is allowed. Crossovers, characters from the extended Marvel Universe and comics canon are allowed, but must relate to the 2015 TV show in some way.
  
  
  5. Prompts focusing on characters from other Netflix Marvel shows or the comics should go on their respective prompt posts, but crossovers with Daredevil can go here.
  
  
  6. Drop a comment on the mod post if you have any questions or problems.


• Prompts
  
  1. All types of prompts are welcome.
  
  
  2. Use the subject line for the main idea of your prompt (pairing or characters, keywords, kink).
  
  
  3. Warnings are nice, but not mandatory. Get DW Blocker if there's anything you really don't want to see.
  
  
  4. Reposted prompts are allowed once one round has passed - e.g. prompts from post #2 cannot be reposted until post #4. Please include a link to where it has been previously posted.


• Fills
  
  1. When posting a fill, either add [FILL] (or something similar) to the subject line, or change the subject line to the title of your fill.
  
  
  2. Announce your fill on either the Completed Fills Post or the WIP Post.
  
  
  3. Long fills can either be posted over multiple comments, or posted on AO3 and linked back here.
  
  
  4. Multiple fills are always okay.
  
  
  5. Fills can be anything! Fic, art and vids are all welcome.

Please post any prompts related to Season 2 of Punisher over on the dedicated Punisher prompt post, and put SPOILERS in the subject line!

Comments

Matt/Foggy, Rosary beads

[(Anonymous)]

[warning for um blasphemy?]

http://static.trinityroad.com/prod/500/mahogany-red-corded-wood-rosary-2001572.jpg

Matt has a string of smooth wooden rosary beads he's had since forever, and whenever he's nervous or worried about something he works them over and over through his fingers.

Foggy gets obsessed watching Matt working the beads with his fingers and starts getting kinky thoughts about Matt wrapping those smooth, wooden beads around Foggy's cock and jerking him off.

So maybe Foggy mentions this to Matt one time when he's really, really drunk and has plausible blackout deniability...only Matt remembers and is enough of a kinky bastard to earn them both a lot of Hail Marys.

Foggy/Matt - Matt is not kinky; Foggy is...it causes issues

[(Anonymous)]

Matt likes vanilla sex. He likes simple penetration and oral, maybe a bit of hair pulling on who ever is receiving. That's how exotic as he gets.

Foggy likes kinky stuff - really, really kinky stuff. He usually settles for simple blindfolds and maybe mild holding down from most partners because he gets it, it's not everyone's thing.

He and Matt get together.

Foggy has an inclination that Matt would be a good partner with his similar interest. After all they do in a lot of things.

He's wrong.

Matt refuses to do anything. Even the small stuff most of Foggy's previous partners were cool with. He doesn't like blindfolds because hello, blind and being held down makes he react violently.

Soon they find themselves with a dead bedroom situation when everything else flourishes in their relationship.

Re: Foggy/Matt - Matt is not kinky; Foggy is...it causes issues

[(Anonymous)]

Yes please. Someone fills that. I need it.

Jess/Luke/Matt, fucktoy!Matt

[(Anonymous)]

Luke shares his favourite toy, Matt, with Jess.

Re: Jess/Luke/Matt, fucktoy!Matt

[(Anonymous)]

I'M GONNA DO THIS.

Gen or Foggy/Matt. Matt is traumatised.

[(Anonymous)]

Something bad happens to Matt and he is traumatised and in need of quick medical attention. The Avengers rescue him or maybe he was on a mission with them that went wrong. They take him back to the tower to treat him and Matt refuses due to shock or maybe he doesn't want anyone touching him or taking his clothes off.

Matt is all gruff and 'I'm fine' and flips out and gets violent when they push it. They know he's in shock enough that if they let him go he's unlikely to get medical attention and might bleed to death (or whatever other type of injury author wants).

Someone tracks down Foggy (possibly through piecing together clues). Foggy hugs Matt, and gruff stubborn Matt breaks down in his arms because finally Foggy is here and it's safe to do that.

Author can keep or change what they want. I'm just looking for a fic where traumatised Matt breaks down in Foggy's arms and agrees to whatever treatment Foggy suggests after violently refusing it before because he trusts Foggy to look after him and Foggy is his safe place.

Re: Gen or Foggy/Matt. Matt is traumatised.

[(Anonymous)]

This is both sweet and fluffy and angsty enough +10

Gen or pre Matt/Claire, girlMatt is hot

[(Anonymous)]

Despite the violence, the near death experiences, despite everything, Mattie Murdock really tests Claire's heterosexuality.

Fill

[(Anonymous)]

Claire couldn't tell if Mattie was sweating so much because of the hot summer night or because of how much pain the woman was in. Either way the fabric of her shirt stuck to her skin perfectly outlining her form. Claire pictured herself running her hands up those hips to the abs and then the breasts. Claire shook her head before the visual could go too far. She had work to do. "I'm glad you called me."

Mattie smirked. "Missing me already?"

"Actually, I take it back. Next time go ahead and bleed out on your nice carpet."

"Is it nice? Foggy says it's a piece of crap that I need to replace six months ago."

Claire looked down at the carpet. Yeah, it was kind of crappy. "Well as long as you like it."

Mattie shrugged, and then she winced. Apparently she had forgotten about her severe scalp laceration that Claire had just finished sewing up. "The material doesn't trap dust the way some carpets do, but other than that it doesn't make a difference to me. It could be an image of hardcore porn and I wouldn't even know."

Claire blushed. She was glad Mattie couldn't see her. "It's not."

"Yeah, I know." Mattie was still grinning. Why was this woman always so damn pleased with herself? "Someone surely would have told me by now."

"Actually, it is porn. None of us had the heart to tell you. It's really raunchy. I can see this woman's clitoris and everything."

Mattie's grin grew. "Is it an accurate drawing?"

"I... I don't. Why would I know?"

"Maybe because you're a nurse," Mattie teased.

Shit, Mattie was right. She had a perfectly good reason to know what a clitoris looked like. "I guess it's accurate. I mean... Obviously there's not actually any porn on your carpet."

"Obviously," Claire wanted to wipe that smirk off Mattie's face. Or kiss it off...

Claire shook her head. "I'm straight," she said very suddenly. Way to make things less awkward, she thought.

Mattie shrugged. "Okay, you're straight. Doesn't change the fact that your face gets hot and your heart rate goes up every time you're around me."

Claire looked away. "So you picked up on that."

"I'm blind, but that doesn't mean I'm not perceptive."

"Apparently not," Claire whispered.

"Hey," Two fingers lifted her chin. Claire was suddenly looking at those warm blank eyes. And under them... Soft full lips. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about."

"Are you an expert or something?"

Mattie shrugged. "Gender doesn't matter to me. It's all about how the other person makes me feel."

"And how do I... Make you feel?"

The soft lips came closer. Claire made no move to evade them. They felt even softer than they looked. They were moist and tasted like sweat, but in a good way weirdly. Claire licked the lips, trying to examine the taste further. Mattie opened her mouth. Claire's tongue touched teeth. Smooth marble panels. Behind those easily parted walls was a tongue. It reached for Claire's own. It touched her lips, tasting her in turn. The lips closed around her bottom lip. They moved along her chin-

Claire broke away. "You're my patient," she protested weakly.

"Worried I have Florence Nightengale syndrome? This is hardly a hospital setting. I don't think the standard rules apply."

"I... You..." Claire looked at Mattie's lovely face. "I want you," she whispered.

"Here I am," Mattie whispered back, her voice liquid sex.

"You're hurt," Claire put up one last feeble protest.

"I know you'll be gentle with me."

Claire took a deep breath. "I never have before. I probably won't be any good."

Mattie took Claire's hand and placed it on her hip. Claire felt the sticky material under her fingers and suddenly wanted it gone. Claire reached under the slippery fabric to feel the smooth skin beneath. Claire started to run her hand up. At the same time Mattie was brushing back her hair and then kissing her neck.

"This okay," Mattie asked.

"Yes, oh yes."

"Want to go to my bedroom?"

Claire ran her thumb over a nipple. "I really, really do."

Season 2 rewrite- Matt shows up at Karen's apartment instead of Frank

[(Anonymous)]

Instead of Frank being the one who showed up at Karen's place right before the Blacksmith's men shot up the place, what if it was Matt who showed up? I'd like to see a rewrite of how the rest of season 2 goes.

How does the Hand's attack on the hospital go if Matt's not there? How does Karen's investigation into the Blacksmith go with Matt having saved her life twice in the span of a day? Does Karen tag-team her investigation with Matt? Does Claire have choice words for Matt about him not being there when he was most needed?

S02E11 Rewrite: The "I'm Not Yours To Protect Scene" ends differently

[(Anonymous)]

Instead of refusing Matt's offer to accompany her into police protection, Karen says "Sure" when Matt says "I'm coming with you." I'd like to see a fill that shows how this would impact the rest of season 2.

Any or pre Matt/Frank, over protective Frank

[(Anonymous)]

Mattie gains a Frank shaped shadow after he misunderstands a comment and thinks she's pregnant. He tries to subtly find out who the father is, and ends up convincing all her friends she's pregnant.

Matt/Karen, he brings her injured criminals as tribute

[(Anonymous)]

Sometime after Karen learns that Matt is Daredevil, they fall into a relationship where he drags battered criminals home to lay at her feet -- either because she sends him after them, or just because he thinks they'll be able to give her useful information for her latest investigations -- like a cat laying dead mice on its owner's pillow. :D

Karen accepts this as rightful tribute. (And then they have sex.)

Danny/Matt, boys with crushes

[(Anonymous)]

Danny is enamored with Matt. Matt is......less so with Danny.

Which is fine, because even though Matt thinks he's super weird and too young to go out with him, Danny's overcome worse odds before.

The fluffier and funnier the better, and all the points ever if in lieu of flowers, Danny apprehends a criminal and leaves him tied up with a pretty bow outside Matt's door. Top!Danny if you choose to go that route.

I just started Iron Fist (finally, I know) and one thing I like about Danny's characterization is how socially awkward and strange he is when interacting with people. So I thought it would be pretty entertaining to see him attempt to woo his way into the heart of someone like Matt, who can't make sense of this crazy person with a glowing fist.

Matt + Aunt May + Flirting

[(Anonymous)]

Daredevil drags a slightly banged up Spiderman back to Peter's home (nothing major, just enough to bring out Matt's mother hen instincts). Aunt May is there, waiting, (let's pretend she's knows about Peter for this one), and flirting commences. Meanwhile, Peter's in the background, questioning A) how hard it would be to hide a body, and B) his life choices.

Anything goes.

Re: Matt + Aunt May + Flirting

[(Anonymous)]

OMG yes XD +1

Matt/Foggy, jealousy/Matt's senses lead him astray

[(Anonymous)]

Post S2, Matt and Foggy aren't friends but they keep running into each other. As Daredevil, in their day jobs, mutual interests on a case, whatever. Foggy loves "accidentally" running into Matt and starts wearing nice cologne, changing his schedule to match Matt's, making sure he he always has an extra order of Matt's favourite in the takeout he's bringing home. He's even reading self-help books on how to support a friend despite said friend's dumbass life choices. He's asking questions! staying calm! It's going great!

On Matt's end, he's notices that Foggy smells nice and has been staying out late and is shopping for more than one person? Clearly he must be dating someone? He doesn't even seem to care anymore when Matt puts himself in danger?

Foggy is pretty sure they've been flirting but Matt won't make a move and it's driving him crazy.

Bonus if Matt's overwhelming jealous fury kicks off a brand-new spate of dumbass decisions.

FILL

[(Anonymous)]

I wrote something inspired by this prompt. It doesn't follow the prompt to the t but I tried...

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11612796

Daredevil S02E08 Rewrite: Instead of Karen, it was Foggy...

[(Anonymous)]

What if it was Foggy, not Karen, who came over to Matt's place in 2x08 and found Elektra in his bed? How would this impact the rest of the season?

S01E09: Nobu fight aftermath REWRITE

[(Anonymous)]

What if, instead of Foggy, it was Karen who found Matt bleeding out after the Nobu fight in 1x09? Is her relationship with Matt made stronger as a result? Does she agree to cover for him with Foggy? How does this impact the rest of season 1 and all of season 2?

Repost: Communication is Key

[(Anonymous)]

Watching Team Avocados break up was super painful, so I'd love to see some fix-it fic. Mostly, I think this could be done with improved communication (mostly on Matt's side, because he is just SO BAD at it.)

Maybe after Matt starts being evasive re: "the new client" Foggy corners him and is like "You promised me, Murdock, no more lies!" and then Matt spills that it's Elektra. Having Foggy KNOW what's going on during all Matt's missed appointments and him being familiar with Elektra's influence helps Foggy argue Matt out of some (if not all) his date night fights against ninjas, and as a result the Castle case is less of a disaster. Maybe Foggy is even able to get Matt to see just how unhealthy that relationship is. Who knows! Just give me a bit of a happier ending to that conflict, even if it's still a little bittersweet.

Season 2

[(Anonymous)]

Let's give Season 2 a re-do, one where everything's the same, except change things so that it's a happy ending where Matt, Karen and Foggy are still working as Nelson & Murdock, and Matt and Karen are still in a relationship.

S02E10 Rewrite: Karen goes with Matt

[(Anonymous)]

Let's imagine that Matt, instead of going to the prison alone to interview Fisk, brought Karen along as backup. How differently would things have gone?

S02E07: Matt and Foggy's find ended differently

[(Anonymous)]

DD 2x07: Let's rewrite Matt and Foggy's little shouting bout in the courthouse bathroom after the medical examiner folded, so that the argument ends with them at a more relative peace, where the friendship is still intact. No Foggy storming out and whatnot.

Dead pool's roommate

[(Anonymous)]

Instead of Blind Al, Deadpool moves in with a certain blind lawyer who just happens to be Daredevil. Cue Matt's awkward wait-is-my-roommate-a-murderer-moments.

Re: Dead pool's roommate

[(Anonymous)]

+1

Foggy/Matt or Foggy/Karen, Pushing Daisies AU

[(Anonymous)]

Foggy Nelson is thirty years, twenty-four weeks, five days, eleven hours, and eight minutes old, and he can touch dead things and bring them back to life.
This power comes with two simple rules:
Rule One - First touch, life. Second touch, dead again...forever
Rule Two - Keep a dead thing alive for more than a minute, and something else has to die.

Whether this is a straight up AU set in the Pushing Daisies universe or if everything is the same but Foggy has this power is up to you.

Re: Foggy/Matt or Foggy/Karen, Pushing Daisies AU

[(Anonymous)]

I love Pushing Daisies, and I love this prompt!

With apologies to Bryan Fuller.

***

"Been watching the news lately?" said Brett Mahoney as he sat down at the counter of the Bagel Hole (Foggy was still working on the name).

"It doesn't seem like much going on in the world besides a dead vigilante," the bagel-maker said.

"A lot going on with that dead vigilante."

"That so?"

"Organized Crime think he was whacked by the Russians. Been all up in their business for the past few weeks."

Foggy pulled a cheese bagel from the rack and started to slice it. Brett always had the roast beef with horseradish sandwich on cheese.

"Nice nurse who pulled the body out of the dumpster said there was somebody sniffing around for him that night," Brett continued. "Be real nice if we could find out who that somebody was." Foggy put the sandwich in front of Brett, and Brett took a bite. "You interested in a conversation?"

"I could be persuaded. This guy got a name?"

"Matthew Murdock."

For a moment, the bagel-maker was lost in a forest of memories. A blind man, knocking on his door. Sleeping, only a few feet away. The smile...

"Matt," Foggy said.

"You know this guy?" Brett said.

"I know of him."

"Know him in the biblical sense?"

"I haven't thought of him since I was twenty-five."

"You think of him a lot when you were twenty-five?"

"I don't remember."

The bagel-maker remembers everything.

The facts were these: Matthew Michael Murdock, thirty years, three weeks, two days, eleven hours and fifty-one minutes old, was found in a dumpster in Hell's Kitchen, moments after expiring there. Who caused his expiration seemed to be a question only Matthew Murdock could answer.

The medical examiner was more than happy to grant the deceased an audience, due to the historical context.

"Um, I just want to, can I do this alone?" Foggy said. "On account of the whole historical context?"

"You got something personal you need to say?" Brett said.

"No," Foggy lied. Brett scowled. "OK, maybe, but I have nothing to gain but a small amount of closure."

"What you got open that needs closing?"

"I just want to tell him something - one of those stupid things that happens in law school I never got to tell him about."

"OK, well, you ask him who killed him first."

"OK."

"You only got a minute."

"I know."

"Sixty seconds."

"I know. Go grab a coffee, or something."

Brett shut the door to the morgue. The bagel-maker took a deep breath, and pulled back the sheet. Only a certain Pie-Maker could know how he felt upon looking at Matt. Great thought was taken as to where to touch him. The lips? Too forward. The cheek...the cheek. He pressed his finger against the cold skin. He watched Matt gasp, blind eyes opening wide, before a sheet was unceremoniously wrapped around his neck and Foggy was forced to his knees.

"Matt... wait..." he croaked.

"Foggy?" The sheet dropped away. "Why am I naked?"

"Long story, buddy. Might want to put that sheet to use." Foggy felt the sheet being pulled away. "Is it safe?"

"Nothing you haven't seen before."

The bagel-maker thought that there was a great deal he hadn't seen before, which he felt was the most important parts of Matt.

"So what's up? How are you? Haven't heard from you since graduation!" Matt said as Foggy turned around. He had the sheet twisted around his waist, showing off a chest that Foggy was positive had not been that chiseled in law school.

"Good! I mean - do you know what's happening right now?"

Matt shrugged.

"I had the weirdest dream," he said, "I'd been stabbed, and I was in a dumpster, and -"

"You were stabbed. And found in a dumpster. It's probably an odd thing to hear, I wasn't sure how to sugarcoat it."

"What?" Matt pressed a hand to his side. "Why can I hear my ribs moving?" He pushed harder, and Foggy saw a sickening bump form under his skin. "That doesn't hurt, why doesn't it - OH!" Foggy watched realization cross Matt's face.

"You only have a minute. Less," he said bitterly.

"What could I tell you in less than a minute?"

"You could tell me who killed you so, you know, justice can be served."

Matt smiled, and Foggy hadn't forgotten how his brain would do cartwheels whenever Matt smiled.

"That's really sweet," Matt said. "It was the Russians. The Ranskahovs. Not them personally, one of their thugs got a good one in..." He stopped, and pulled the sheet down on his side, exposing a raw wound that didn't seem interested in bleeding. He poked at it experimentally. "Huh."

"Why were you even fighting them?"

"They had a kid -" Matt's head snapped up, his eyes wide. "Shit, they still have the kid! I have to go -"

"No, no, no, no, no!" Foggy positioned himself between Matt and the door, his arms wide so as not to touch Matt.

"Foggy, they've got a kid, they're human traffickers, I have to find him -" Matt reached out, and Foggy flinched back out of long habit, and regretted it instantly. For three glorious years, he'd relished every touch Matt had given him, basked in being able to be so close to someone without fear of his power coming into play. And now...

"Foggy?" Matt said, looking like he'd been burned. "Please, I need your help."

Matt's minute of life was nearly over. Foggy should have reached out his hand. He looked at his watch, and watched the second hand cross the twelve.

"What if you didn't have to be dead?" Foggy said.

"That would be preferable," Matt said.

Foggy nodded. "Tell me about this kid."

Accidental ageplay

[(Anonymous)]

Matt grew up before his time, even before Stick and the accident. Since he missed much of his childhood there are parts of him that don't feel grown up. He's learnt to ignore urges to act goofy or seek comfort.

Frank misses being a father and the way caring for someone let him forget the violence.

One day Frank has a pile of stuffed animals (for his dog?) and he notices Matt unconciously pick one up and fiddle with it, and how reluctantly he put it down when it was time to leave. Other toys start appearing when Matt comes around, soft blankets and comfort foods too.

Slowly Frank starts taking on more of a caregiver role. Teaching Matt how to bake cakes like he did with his kids? Advise, hugs, comfort. The relationship is healing for both of them.

Frank starts to relax, thinking about things other than his mission. Matt starts to build some actual self esteem and look after himself better, and to ask for help when he needs it.

Would prefer if there wasn't a sexual relationship between Frank and Matt. (But maybe their makeshift therapy gives Matt the confidence to admit his feelings for someone else such as Foggy and pursue that relationship.)

But hey, if an author anon is inspired by this prompt then feel free to use as much or as little of this as you like, with whatever parings (or no parings) as you like. As far as I'm concerned I'm throwing an idea out there. Tweak as you wish.

Re: Accidental ageplay

[(Anonymous)]

Omg yes! I love this!

Family

[(Anonymous)]

Jack was not Matt's father, Maggie was not Matt's mother--Matt was adopted and he never knew. Now his biological family has found him...

Fill this sucker with ALL the feels.

Gen/any, various Defenders help Spiderman. Spoilers?

[(Anonymous)]

Trying to be as unspoilery as possible...







Spiderman remembers there's more to the NYC hero scene than just Tony Stark when Daredevil brings Jessica Jones and Luke Cage to help him out of a tight spot.
If you've seen the movie, you'll know where, but applicable to other situations to.

daredevil looking out for suicidal peter parker/spider-man

[(Anonymous)]

this is a purely self-indulgent because i love to see my faves suffer but i would kill to see matt looking out for/after angsty depressed shows-suicidal-tendencies peter/spidey (would prefer this to be gen but any parings that aren't underage are cool by me) everything else is totally up to you!!

Gen/any, sensory issues, family

[(Anonymous)]

Foggy had always thought of the silk sheets as one of Matt's foibles, until he takes Matt home for Christmas and Mrs Nelson notices the rash.

Red in the Morning

[(Anonymous)]

"You're up early Matthew," Anna Nelson said.

Matt shrugged as he took a seat at the kitchen island. "I try to keep a fairly regular sleep cycle. My circadian rhythm gets messed up really easily."

"Good for you," Anna said. "If only my lazy bones son had your- Good God what is that!"

Matt almost fell off his stool he was so startled. "What?" Was there a giant bug crawling across the countertop?

"You have the angriest looking rash I've ever seen on your neck!" Anna must have not been looking at him until this moment. She had probably been focusing on her breakfast. Matt had thought modest clothing would be enough to hide his skin irritation, but he hadn't realized the rash had spread to his neck.

"Oh uh... I think I might be allergic to your laundry detergent. It's not a big deal."

"You look like you spent the last week bedding down in poison ivy! Why didn't you say anything?"

"I'm okay. I'm used to it. This always happens when I sleep on someone else's sheets."

"Why didn't you bring your sheets?"

Matt was beginning to regret coming into the kitchen this morning. "I thought that might be rude. Like 'Oh your sheets aren't good enough for my very sensitive skin so I brought my own.' Foggy always laughs about my silk sheets and my hypoallergenic laundry detergent and my mild soaps and... Anyway, I didn't want to look like a snob."

"Yeah," Anna said sarcastically. "Much better to suffer and be miserable. Why do you care what we think about you anyway?"

Matt was somewhat thrown by the question. "Uhhh... You seem like really nice people. Foggy always talks about how amazing his family is, and you invited some guy you don't even know to your house for Thanksgiving just so he wouldn't spend it alone. So I guess I thought if there's anyone I could trick for a week into thinking I'm not an antisocial weirdo it would probably be you guys." Matt scratched his rash. It felt angry. "Almost made it."

"There's nothing weird or antisocial about having sensitive skin. Lots of people have sensitive skin. Why would that be weird?"

Matt didn't want to continue this conversation, but he was trapped now. "It's just one more thing that... Sets me apart from other people. Like TV. There's all these things that people do together or have in common that I... Well it doesn't matter. I just don't like highlighting how different I am. I try to blend in."

"Well you suck at it."

Matt was thrown by her bluntness. "Okay..."

"I'm serious. There are so many things you're really good at and you waste all this time and energy, not to mention subject yourself to a lot of suffering to try to master one of the few skills you will probably never get the hang of? You're already brilliant, funny, kind, interesting, helpful, hard-working, dedicated-"

Matt's face was as warm as an oven. "Please stop."

"The point is, you don't blend in. But you have a lot of other stuff going for you. If you show up and people judge you because of your fancy sheets, fuck um. They don't deserve you."

"Wow," Matt said.

"Wow because my speech was awesome or wow because of the profanity?"

"Both," Matt admitted. "I didn't know moms cursed."

"I can curse like a sailor and make chocolate chip cookies. I too have many skills. Now let's go."

"Uhh where are we going?"

"To buy sheets and laundry detergent, duh."