daredevilkink | Prompt Post #5

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oh my god. Tony (because this is TONY) deciding that if he can't get to Foggy through Foggy, he'll do it through Karen and Matt and anyone else Foggy shows any affection for. Matt is Foggy's Rhodey, right? Tony will make sure that suddenly ALL the accessibility. Pepper freaks out when he does the Iron Man, Foggy must freak out about Daredevil, yes? He will design ALL NEW BEST GEAR.

Karen in the background going "wait, wait, Foggy, no: this is turning out really well, keep playing hard-to-get, I'm pretty sure all new office equipment is next. You want a new coffee maker, right?"

"I JUST WANT HIM TO LEAVE ME ALONE"
"Not until we got an AC. You will thank me for that next summer."

"matt," says foggy, desperately, "matt, buddy, back me up here."

"i don't know," says matt, who is deeply enamored now with his brand new cellphone. with things he can touch. "i kind of want to go with karen on this one."

and that's when the delivery boy shows up like, "yo, bro, we've got a shipment of a fuckload of new equipment for you? sign here." and karen is like "OH, YES, COFFEEMAKER, AC, HOORAY."

"NO, NOT HOORAY," foggy near-shrieks, "TELL TONY STARK--"

"--that we will consider his kind gifts, thank you very much," matt cuts in. "and also that I will pay him a visit if he's bugged them, or somehow gave them a sentient personality."

(this is Tony Motherfucking Stark. he has probably given at least one of the more advanced machines he sends nelson & murdock an ai. prolonged exposure to matt and foggy and karen [and also claire] turns it into the snarkiest little shit that makes sight puns and fusses needlessly over matt.)

"I hate all of you", Foggy yells, "I'm going to move. To the Arctic out some place."

His new phone beeps
"I can buy you a house there. No AC but with a good radiator."

"MATT DO SOMETHING PLEASE. OTHERWISE I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING AND IT WILL NOT BE PRETTY!"

On TV there will be question of: "why did you design a phone aimed for the Blibd,Mr Stark?"

And Tony will reply "while Stark Tech accessibility features are rated among the best in the field, I witnessed how much was still lacking with my cousin's partner. At this time we are working on a new line of tablets and computers for the visually impaired. We want to make sure they are not simple instruments but able to browse and get results from databases like Lexis Nexus."

"Matt? Why are you smiling like that? Matt don't encourage him?"

"You do realize you just said you were against better technology for the blind?"

"You knowI didn't mean it like that Karen!"

"Oh my god. I know why he's smiling. He's playing angry birds! He'll have a bigger screen with a tablet!"

all i want is for matt to finally understand why foggy cursed so much at his phone when he played flappy bird. throws the phone out the window in pure frustration and then ends up having to jump after it and pray it's not broken.

(it isn't, tony tested it out on the hulk. then on thor and captain america, who have a habit of breaking their brand new phones a lot. he always chalks it up to steve and thor being, respectively, out of this time and out of this world.

nope, steve and thor have a shared youtube channel that is essentially "how creative do we need to get to BREAK THIS PHONE".)

That YouTube channel needs to be its own prompt in the next round. I bet they'd make great infomercial parodies of Cap dropping his phone on the sidewalk and Thor dropping down from the heavens like "GREETINGS FRIEND, oops, didn't see that there."

steve turns on the video like, "tony says this thing can survive getting hit with a hammer." waves his phone at the screen. behind him is an evidently gleeful thor, mjolnir in hand. "let's test that."

the phone starts blaring hair metal.

steve nods at thor, who raises mjolnir and sends it crashing down on the phone.

("HOW THE FUCK DID YOU TWO BREAK IT."

"i apologize," says thor, with big puppy eyes, "i was badly startled by the ringtone.")

Prompt Post #5

Re: Gen: Foggy is related to Tony Stark

Re: Gen: Foggy is related to Tony Stark

Re: Gen: Foggy is related to Tony Stark

Re: Gen: Foggy is related to Tony Stark

Re: Gen: Foggy is related to Tony Stark

Re: Gen: Foggy is related to Tony Stark

Re: Gen: Foggy is related to Tony Stark

Re: Gen: Foggy is related to Tony Stark