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daredevilkink2015-07-13 09:00 am
ddk_mod) wrote in daredevilkink2015-07-13 09:00 am
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Prompt Post #5
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FILL: will you still call me superman 2/2
(Anonymous) 2015-07-20 06:37 pm (UTC)(link)The first time he and Matt fall into bed together, they’re slightly tipsy, extremely sleep-deprived, and Matt has just gotten his ass kicked by at least three different goon squads, so Foggy doesn’t really think much of it when he ends up on top and Matt goes tense and still beneath him. It’s just for a moment, anyway, and then Matt’s legs come up around him, and he’s arching off the bed, and Foggy is actually airborne before he knows what the hell is going on.
He lands on his back in the center of the mattress, Matt straddling his hips, and his breath comes out in a surprised laugh. “I’m sorry, for a second there I forgot I was being seduced by a ninja.”
Matt throws back his head and laughs, all the weird tension draining out of him. “I thought you were seducing me.”
“Hey, if you want to give me the credit, I’m not complaining.”
“Somehow, I didn’t think you would.” Matt kisses him quickly on the lips, and then he’s sliding down and pulling off Foggy’s boxers as he goes, and yeah--definitely not complaining.
The first time he notices is about a month later. It’s a slow, happy evening after a good win in court. They cook spaghetti in Matt’s apartment, make fun of the news with their legs tangled up together on the couch. Daredevil hasn’t been hit with a baseball bat in at least a couple of weeks and there are no fading bruises on Matt’s body.
Everything is good, is the thing, and that’s why he notices. They’re laughing all the way into the bedroom, and Matt is trying to tell some kind of rambling story about wedding cake in between kisses, and then Foggy topples him onto the mattress and climbs on top of him and he just. Stops.
“Matt?” Foggy asks carefully.
Matt gets his legs up, knees jabbing Foggy painfully in the chest as he shoves himself away. It’s not always easy to read Matt’s expressions, but if he was going to hazard a wild guess, he’d be going with ‘freaked the fuck out.’
There’s not much that freaks Matt out. Getting shot at doesn’t freak Matt out, at least not nearly as much as Foggy wishes it did. He climbs off the bed and steps back a couple of paces for good measure. “Matt, are you okay?”
Matt shakes his head sharply, then says, “I’m fine. You want to come back over here?”
He’s trying to smile, but it’s not quite working. Something cold is squeezing at Foggy’s insides, an awful suspicion taking shape in his mind, and despite the fact that he was kissing Matt like he needed him to breathe less than a minute ago, he can’t remember ever being less interested in sex. “No, I don’t think so. Are you okay?”
Matt’s face twists. “I said I was fine,” he says shortly, climbing off the bed. He usually keeps up the habitual pretense that his super-senses don’t actually exist, but not this time--he’s shoving past Foggy and out of the room without so much as touching the wall. Foggy can hear the stairs clang as he climbs them two at a time, and the roof door slamming shut.
He sinks down on the edge of the mattress and buries his face in his hands. Matt is--he’s always been a little standoffish, and Foggy’s always chalked it up to being blind or, after the whole Daredevil revelation, to his freaky senses--but.
The thing is, he’s sitting here, and he’s remembering Marci telling him in a hard voice to not ever pin her down if he didn’t feel like getting castrated. That she didn’t like people on top of her. And it’s--
It’s Matt, he’s a fucking superhero, and he’s literally taken down crime syndicates singlehandedly.
And that means fuck-all, given the wrong set of circumstances. Jesus.
Foggy pushes himself to his feet, runs his fingers through his hair, and takes a deep breath. It’s not outside the realm of possibility that Matt has actually decided to go off along the rooftops rather than risk Foggy coming after him, but in the off chance that he’s still up there, there’s a conversation that definitely needs having.
***
Matt is still there. He’s sitting at the edge of the roof with his bare feet dangling over sixty feet of empty air. It makes Foggy’s heart thump sharply in his chest with fear, and Matt must hear that, because he tilts his chin without turning. “Hey.”
“Hey,” Foggy says quietly, picking his way across the minefield of old air conditioning units and pigeon shit. He sits down cross-legged on the stone a few feet from the edge; his nerves can’t quite handle the prospect of a five story drop tonight. “Please tell me you weren’t going to leap off the roof and go Daredevilling in your pajamas.”
“‘Daredevilling? Is that a word now?”
“What can I say? I’m a linguistic radical.”
“You’re something, anyway,” Matt mutters, but he sounds mostly fond. Good. Maybe that means that Foggy isn’t about to get his ass unceremoniously dumped tonight. “And no, I wasn’t. I’d probably kill myself, taking a dive off of this roof.”
“Oh,” Foggy says.
“I’m not a super-soldier, you know,” Matt says irritably. “I can get hurt.”
That’s more true than Foggy really wants to think about, right now. “I know.”
Matt sighs and turns his face away until Foggy can only see the curve of his cheekbone. “I know what you’re thinking. Just ask already and get it over with.”
Foggy doesn’t speak for a minute or so. “I dated this girl in college,” he says finally. He won’t say Marci’s name. That’s not for him to share, not even to Matt. Not even for this. “Her high-school boyfriend raped her, and she never really got okay with being pinned, feeling like she couldn’t get away. She always had to be in control.”
Matt doesn’t shake his head, doesn’t tell Foggy that he’s way off base, and that by itself is enough to confirm it, even before he says, “And you want to know if that’s what my issue is.”
“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” Foggy says, “but yeah, I’d be lying if I said there weren’t some similarities.”
Matt nods shortly. His hands curl into fists on his flannel-clad thighs, and his voice is flat when he speaks. “The answer is yes.”
Foggy closes his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“It was a long time before you met me.”
“I’m still sorry.” He takes a deep breath. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but Matt--you have to tell me if there are things I shouldn’t be doing. If there are ways you don’t want to be touched. I can’t--I don’t ever want to upset you like that again.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Matt says, still in that flat, colorless voice. “It’s my issue. I’ll deal with it.”
“Yeah, that’s now how this works,” Foggy says. “Sex is supposed to be fun, not something you just tolerate for my sake,”
Matt does turn toward him at that. “Foggy, that’s not--”
“Because I love you, and I want you to be okay, and not just, just putting up with it, Jesus, Matt.”
Matt doesn’t answer. Foggy replays what he just said in his head and winces. It’s not that it isn’t true, but he’s never said it out loud, and this was probably not the best moment for it. “I--”
“I’m not just putting up with it,” Matt says. He turns back toward Foggy. His eyes are wet, but he looks relatively composed. “Can you come here?”
Foggy scoots closer, until he can feel the heat emanating off of Matt in the cool night air. He doesn’t know if touching is good or bad right now, but when he lifts his arm slightly, Matt tucks himself against his side, the familiar shape of him, all whipcord muscle and bone. He presses his wet cheek to Foggy’s shoulder for a moment, like he’s grounding himself, and says, “It’s not usually a problem. Mostly, I’m good at stopping people when they do something I don’t like.”
Mostly. “I don’t want you to have to stop me. I don’t want to do something you don’t like in the first place.”
Matt smiles against his neck, like Foggy has just done something remarkable instead of expressing a basic degree of human decency. He does that sometimes, and it always makes Foggy want to go back in time and beat the shit out of everyone who ever hurt Matt, who made him think he wasn’t worth taking care of and treating well. “It’s really just the--the pinning me down. It reminds me of--he was a lot bigger than me and I couldn’t--I couldn’t get away. Sometimes it’s fine, but sometimes it’s--not.” He pauses. His hand comes up to Foggy’s chest, pressing gently over his heart. “You’re angry.”
Foggy lets out a slow breath. “Yeah,” he admits. “But not at you. Times like this, I kind of get why you do what you do.”
Matt laughs wetly. “That’s one good thing, I guess.” He’s silent for a long moment. “I never told anybody else. I didn’t--” he shrugs a little. “I have a hard time trusting people, sometimes.”
That’s the understatement of a lifetime, but Foggy doesn’t say so out loud. “Thank you for telling me.”
Matt nods against his shoulder, doesn’t answer. They sit like that for a long time, the night cooling down around them. This high up, the noises of the street seem distant, but he can hear sirens. He knows Matt can hear a lot more than that, but it’s a long time before he shifts against Foggy, lifts his head, and says, “It’s going to rain. We should go inside.”
“You can hear rain coming?” Foggy asks, accepting the hand up that Matt offers.
“Smell it,” Matt says. “When it’s close.”
“Well, that’s not weird or anything.”
“It really isn’t. You could probably smell it too, if you paid attention.” Matt’s smiling at him in the dim light. It looks a little faded, but it’s not fake.
“I seriously doubt that.”
“I’m serious. Here.” Matt’s hands on his face, turning him toward the gathering breeze. “It’s like--electricity and wet asphalt.”
Foggy breathes in deep, but all he can smell is fabric softener and Matt’s deodorant. “I got nothing.”
“Hopeless,” Matt says, shaking his head. “Stand out here for another five minutes, if you don’t believe me.”
“I believe you,” Foggy says, as Matt tugs him toward the door.
Matt pauses under the overhang, reaches up. His fingers find Foggy’s face, tracing the shape of his cheekbone, his jaw. Learning him by feel, and it’s far from the first time Matt’s done this by now, but it never fails to make him shiver, and now is no different. In spite of everything.
Matt’s smile isn’t faded this time; it’s warm and genuine and Foggy can feel it against his mouth when Matt leans in and kisses him. It’s just a brief, sweet press of lips, and then he pulls back and says, quietly, “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me for anything,” Foggy says.
“Yeah,” Matt says firmly, “I really do.”
He pushes the door open, and Foggy follows him inside. Outside, the rain starts coming down.
Re: FILL: will you still call me superman 2/2
(Anonymous) 2015-07-20 06:42 pm (UTC)(link)Mostly. “I don’t want you to have to stop me. I don’t want to do something you don’t like in the first place.”
--- ;_; Foggy, you are perfect.
“I have a hard time trusting people, sometimes.”
--- GEE, MATT, REALLY?!
Ahhhh, this is so beautiful. ;_; Foggy, you are darling.
Re: FILL: will you still call me superman 2/2
(Anonymous) 2015-07-20 06:52 pm (UTC)(link)i love how foggy puts the pieces together, and how matt (of course) reacts by trying to minimize and play it off, and then running when that doesn't work. and then the bit at the end, with the approaching rain and matt touching foggy's face, is just gorgeous.
(also i love that foggy doesn't name marci when talking about her, because yeah, that's private and she's the only one who gets to decide to reveal her past or not.)
Re: FILL: will you still call me superman 2/2
(Anonymous) 2015-07-20 06:55 pm (UTC)(link)Re: FILL: will you still call me superman 2/2
(Anonymous) 2015-07-20 08:51 pm (UTC)(link)Re: FILL: will you still call me superman 2/2
(Anonymous) 2015-07-20 09:19 pm (UTC)(link)That was *perfect*. Just what I wanted. Foggy is amazing; he just doesn't get why people wouldn't be decent human beings. I love how you've portrayed Marci and Matt - different people, dealing with it differently. And the implication of when it was for Matt - yeah, Foggy would be angry, *very* angry.
Thank you.
Re: FILL: will you still call me superman 2/2
(Anonymous) 2015-07-21 04:14 am (UTC)(link)Re: FILL: will you still call me superman 2/2
(Anonymous) 2015-07-21 10:37 am (UTC)(link)Re: FILL: will you still call me superman 2/2
(Anonymous) 2015-07-22 11:55 pm (UTC)(link)