daredevilkink | Prompt Post #4

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Prompt Post #4

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"I killed Fisk's lackey, Mr. Wesley," Karen confessed to him from the floor of his office, with her head in his lap and him stroking her hair. "The one from Global Consolidated." It was dark since the lights were off and evening had darkened the sky. Matt hadn't returned. They had both held each other until they had collapsed from exhaustion. Karen sounded numb, like she was too tired to feel anything anymore. Foggy missed that feeling. It tempted him to pull his suppressants or the bottle of scotch out of his desk drawer to reach that point, but he resisted. He wanted to be sober for this. He needed to know the truth.

"How? Why?" Foggy asked.

"He kidnapped me when he found out about the fact that Ben and I had visited Fisk's mother," Karen replied. "Threatened me. You. Matt. Everyone I loved. Made the mistake of leaving his loaded gun on the table in front of me. So I shot him. And then I ran."

"It wasn't the first time, though, was it?" Foggy asked. He knew. The guilt that overwhelmed her wasn't just about Wesley, and he could sense the churning anxiety that she had that someday he and Matt would know her, really know her, and reject her. So much had happened to her before they had even met her, he was sure of it.

"No," she said. "It wasn't. I..." she choked on the sentence, and Foggy continued to stroke her hair, wordlessly reached out with his empathic sense and, without even realizing he could, encouraged her to continue.

"I grew up in Nebraska. Middle of nowhere. I had a rough time. My mother was an addict, in and out of jail, and my dad left to go start a new family, a family he loved and wanted. I was in and out of foster homes. Didn't even finish high school. When I was 18, I got my GED and enrolled in community college. Started waiting tables to pay for it. Waiting tables turned into dancing. Dancing turned into... something else."

Foggy listened and was overwhelmed by her experiences as she spoke, feeling the anger, bitterness, but also the hopefulness and ultimately helplessness. He let it blanket him, accepted it for what it was, and tried to overlay it with his love of this woman, with affection and strength. Somehow, he wasn't sure how, he was certain it was helping her.

"I made a lot of money. More than enough to finish school. But I ended up dropping out. Mixed up in drugs, and the wrong people. One day, God it wasn't even that long ago, there was this guy... he... well he wanted something from me that I wasn't willing to give. Which is really saying something, because I gave so much..." Her voice trembled and Foggy wiped her tears away with his thumbs as she looked up at him. It was intimate, but Foggy was surprised by how strangely comfortable it felt.

"You killed him," he said.

"I did," Karen said. "I shot him with his own gun too. And I ran. Figured I could get lost in New York City, start over. And then when everything happened with Daniel..."

"Oh wow," Foggy said. "Matt and I had no idea." And suddenly Foggy was angry. Angry at himself for being on the suppressants and missing what was right in front of him. And angry at Matt, for being able to sense that Karen was telling the truth but not how much more to the story there was than what they had thought.

He felt Karen tense underneath him. "You're angry," she said, but she sounded surprised instead of upset.

"Yeah," he said, being honest. "But at myself. Not at you, Karen."

"I know," she said, sitting up and looking at him intently, "I could feel it."

"Wait, what?" Foggy asked, confused.

"Yeah," Karen said. "It was like... like it came over me and I knew what it was. I knew it was you. I don't understand."

It took Foggy completely by surprise. It wasn't something he had ever considered before. He knew that he could pick up emotions from other people. They had flooded him, assaulted him, for as long as he could remember. But he had never projected his own emotions onto someone else before.

"I'm sorry," Foggy said. "I didn't tell you, because I didn't think it mattered. I'm a mutant."

"You're a mutant?" Karen asked. "That's... oh wow... seriously?"

Foggy nodded. "I was on suppressants. I went off of them a few days ago. That's why all this happened. Why I blew up at Matt and he left. I can sense people's emotions, what they're feeling. And, apparently, project my own, which is news to me. Jesus..."

"That's amazing," Karen said. "You are amazing. Why would you suppress that?"

Foggy smiled. Of course Karen would say that. "Because I couldn't keep feeling other people's pain all the time. It was just too hard. I wanted to be happy. And normal."

"But what you can do is so much better than normal!" Karen said.

"Is it?" Foggy asked. He gestured to the two of them sprawled out on the floor by his desk, their shirts wet with tears, in the dark. "You understand what normal means, right? And better than? Not sure how you could apply those terms to this."

"Foggy," Karen said, palming both his cheeks with her hands so that he was looking her in the eye. "I felt the anger, yes, but you also made me feel so much better, just now. Made me feel loved. Made me feel how strong and brave you think I am. That's a beautiful gift."

"You think?" he asked, tentatively.

She nodded, and leaned in to kiss his forehead gently. He could feel, really feel, how much she meant it. And how much she loved him. And he knew he'd made the right choice.

After walking Karen home, Foggy decided that he needed to talk to Matt. He had tried calling his cell phone, but he knew better than to think that Matt would pick up. He was certain that Matt had decided to go out, that somewhere a rapist or mugger was paying for what Foggy had said to his friend.

So Foggy wandered along a couple of the busier Hell's Kitchen streets, hoping to run into Daredevil.

He stopped for a slice of pizza, and sat in the restaurant staring out the window, stretching his gift out again, with a newfound respect for exactly how powerful it might actually be. He let the adoration and warm fuzzies of a newly engaged couple wash over him, and it tickled him and made him grin. He observed a woman alone waiting for a bus, sensed the anxiety and paranoia that sat in her chest as she waited. Reflected on how many things women had to feel that men didn't even think about. He sensed two men in a barfight nearby, could feel the challenge and desire to prove worth that emanated from it. Reflected again on gendered emotions, whole ranges of them and wondered if anyone really understood the differences the way he did.

He was older now. He understood things that he hadn't as a barely pubescent kid. He couldn't believe that he spent so many years being so afraid of what he might be, of the strength of other people's emotions. Maybe he had even underestimated the power of his own.

And then he felt a sudden flash of fury, the same boiled over intensity that he had only felt one place before. It was Matt's fury, as he had told Foggy calmly about letting the devil out, told him in a matter of fact way that he never intended to stop.

He chucked his pizza crust and plate in the garbage and followed the feeling, letting it lead him around the corner and towards a darkened alley between a pool hall and a closed bookstore. He knew better than to approach the alley and interrupt the fight, knew that Daredevil had the situation well in hand. So he stayed out of sight, and waited. A woman had just been attacked. Foggy could sense the adrenaline and fear. There were two attackers. One was already unconscious. The other was the one Daredevil was engaged with. He was overconfident, and arrogant. In the face of the devil's judgment, Foggy knew that he didn't stand a chance.

Foggy watched with a strange detachment as the woman fled the alley in the direction of the police station, her feet almost moving of their own accord following Daredevil's command to run. "What are you doing here?" he finally heard, directed at him and not in the gruff tone that most people heard were used to hearing come from under the horns.

Foggy moved into the alley so that nobody could see them talk, finally saw Daredevil in the flesh, red suit gleaming under the motion sensor light beaming from a nearby building. He was bent over the forms of the two attackers, tying them up to ensure that they didn't escape before the police arrived.

"I wanted to apologize," said Foggy. "For earlier. I didn't mean it."

"Really?" said Matt, "Because it kind of sounded like you did. And I don't blame you. I deserve it."

"No. You don't," Foggy said firmly. "Think about it... what you saw? Did that seem like normal behavior to you? You were the one who said that I haven't exactly been acting like myself lately."

"So what was it then?" Matt asked. "What's been going on with you, Foggy?"

"I went off my suppressants," Foggy replied.

"Oh." Matt said, sounding surprised. "Is that... I don't... why?"

Foggy could hear the sound of police sirens coming closer, and he was reminded of how surreal the entire situation they found themselves in was. "Why don't I meet you at your place?" he asked. "We can talk about it there. Getting into it here, with you dressed like that and two unconscious assholes at our feet, probably isn't the best idea."

Foggy left the alley, and shook his head in amusement as he heard a clang and thump that he suspected was Daredevil leaping up a fire escape. He got to Matt's door, opened it with his key, and wasn't surprised at all to find Matt already inside and drying off from the shower dressed only in sweatpants.

"Hey," Matt said. He was nervous. Until this week, Foggy would never have believed how nervous Matt was all the time, how timid and scared. Man without fear indeed. It made him remember all the times he had envied the man's confidence and self-assurance in college.

"Hey, buddy," Foggy said. "How are you feeling?"

"Can you tell me?" Matt asked. "Now that you're... you know?"

"A mutant?" Foggy asked. "I always was, you know. Technically."

"I guess so," Matt replied. "It's strange to think about, I have to admit. I never really thought about you that way before, even after you told me."

"At least I gave you the choice to factor it in," Foggy said, only a small amount of bitterness finding its way into his voice.

"Yeah, you did," said Matt sadly. "Why go off the suppressants now? Is it because of me?"

"Partly, yeah," Foggy said, "Although I tried to go off them when all the stuff with Fisk was going on, after Elena died. Bad timing."

"Oh. That means... that means you were off of them when..." Matt asked, his voice trembling and quiet.

"Yeah," said Foggy. "It didn't exactly help the situation. I just got tired of them. I kept having to increase my dosage so that they would keep working, which I think means I was getting more and more powerful, which is making things now pretty confusing. And I just wanted to feel something real again, without the suppressants getting in the way, even if it was pain. To see what it was I was so scared of, you know?"

"I think so," Matt said. "I'm not really sure I understand though. You've never really talked about it with me before."

"I know," said Foggy, "and I'm really sorry for that, truthfully. I keep thinking about the fact that if I had, maybe you wouldn't have felt the need to keep so much from me. It just... it sucked, man. It wasn't just that I could feel people's feelings. It was that I could feel all people's feelings, all of the time. Happy, sad, angry, afraid. All of them. It was making me crazy. And it was making the people who had to put up with me even crazier. So taking the suppressants just seemed like the right thing to do at the time."

"And it doesn't anymore?" Matt asked.

"No," said Foggy.

"Are you doing this because you want to... to get back at me for the things I'm able to know about you? Or because I make you feel like you need it?" Matt asked. "I don't want you to do something that causes you pain because of me."

"No!" said Foggy. "I'd like to be able to understand you better. That part I'll admit to. And it is kind of nice to know when you're lying to me. It levels the playing field a bit. It was just time. I couldn't keep living my life running away from it."

"I never meant to hurt you," Matt said.

"You didn't," said Foggy. "Today was intense, Matt. You are intense. Not that that's a bad thing. It's just something I have to get used to. I didn't mean to take it out on you."

"I don't think that's going to go away, Foggy," Matt said. "And I don't like the idea of you walking around feeling... feeling like I do all the time."

"Cut yourself some slack, Matt," Foggy said. "You forget that I can feel the good stuff too."

"Good stuff?" Matt said, and he shook his head like he thought what Foggy said was nonsensical.

"Your love for me, for instance," Foggy said. "That's technically great stuff. Joyful. Certain. Honest. It sings, Matt, in high, clear tones like a hymn in church. It makes me feel lucky just to have felt it for a moment. And now that I've felt it, I don't think I could go back, even if I wanted to. Which I don't. And I love you too, man. I can only hope as much."

Matt smiled. It made Foggy sad, because it was a soft, shy smile. It wasn't enough. So he tried something. He reached down within himself, and he found the love he had for Matt. And he reached out with his empathic sense and tried to help Matt understand.

Slowly, the smile widened, and there was even a sniffle and a tear. Foggy knew he'd achieved his goal.

"Oh my god," Matt said, and it sounded like a prayer. "Are you doing that?"

Foggy nodded. Matt surged forward and hugged him tightly. And Foggy knew that they were okay. Better than okay. Because he had a gift.

At the beginning of the third week, the first day after going off of his suppressants entirely, Foggy woke up screaming, and everything fell apart.

No supressants mean powers going on full, if he can make people feel things with a small portion, without them he will be a force to reckon, Somethig like Dr. X empathic, strong, mind reader and so much shit D:

Oh god this is my favourite fic. Just, ever. Everything is amazing but Foggy showing Matt how much he loves him I actually can't.

And that cliffhanger oh no.

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Prompt Post #4

FILL: A World of Emotions (4b/?)

Re: FILL: A World of Emotions (4b/?)

Re: FILL: A World of Emotions (4b/?)