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daredevilkink2015-08-14 07:00 pm
ddk_mod) wrote in daredevilkink2015-08-14 07:00 pm
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Prompt Post #6
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Fill: though you are asleep [2/2]
(Anonymous) 2015-09-01 03:37 pm (UTC)(link)"He's sleeping now," Karen tells him outside of Foggy's room. This time, at least, Matt has heard about it. This time, at least, he was able to answer his phone to Karen's upset words -
(But the danger has passed. It has happened and it has gone and there is nothing for Matt to do but stand there, vibrating, feeling so much coil inside of him and bang on his ribs and bones and teeth, desperate to escape him in an explosion of violence.)
"How bad is it," he asks, because he has to - he should already know, he should have been here to listen in on the doctors, and the nurses. He has to hear it from someone - it isn't like anyone is going to leave Foggy's charts laying around in braille for him to read.
Foggy sounds fine, mostly - his heart a little sluggish, his breathing a little slow, nothing particularly tight in his throat: he's on some kind of analgesic, and asleep. He sounds fine, but Matt can't tell - he doesn't know.
"Uh," Karen says, and her voice is still a little tight from the shock, but her heart is steady. "The doctors say he'll be fine, but they're still running blood tests. You know. The wound looked clean, but - Um. Uh, he's been in and out, you know. He asked for you. Sounded worried."
Matt inhales. He has been beaten too often and been responsible for too much to feel guilty about this, but it aches a bit, deep within him, like a fractured bone that hasn't yet healed. "Right," he says, because he doesn't know what else to say.
"Right," she echoes, sighs a bit and looks away. "I'll wait out here for you. I think he's sleeping right now."
Matt steps into the room and swings the door mostly shut behind him and is thankful for whatever it is that keeps Karen from following him in, thinking to help him, maybe. Right now he doesn't want to know what Foggy looks like - the hospital already screams and cries and moans and weeps around him, vomits and bleeds and he smells the antiseptic, and the saline, and the blood.
He is not lost, and he is not stumbling and he has not lost his balance, but Matt circles around the bed, and he puts his hands on Foggy to make sure that he's going to survive. His skin is cold on the surface, but Foggy is always warm at his core, and anywhere that Matt's fingers linger warms quickly. He's alive, Matt thinks, despite the knife wound. He's alive, and he'll be okay - he'll be okay -
Foggy's face is lax under his hands, slack with sleep or the drugs or both, and it warms quickly under his palms. He dips his thumbs into the hollows of Foggy's eyes, the tickle of his lashes against the softest part of his thumb, below the calloused pad, and runs the edges of his nails over the arch of his brows. At this range, Matt can hear his heart beat - no need for monitors, apparently, which is good - but he slides his hands around to feel along his neck and find the source of the soft susurrous of blood rushing through his veins, and -
His breath is stale against Matt's tongue, faint traces of wheat, something sticky and sweet, and acrid fear and the chemical bite of the analgesic in his blood. But it's not his breath that Matt's seeking out, is it?
Oh, he thinks, and for the first time, his mouth softens into a kiss.
And the world is not kind, or easy, or gentle or nice, and so against his mouth is said: "what the fuck."
His skin goes numb, adrenaline and and shock, and then he's electrified, but Matt doesn't jump, doesn't jerk and doesn't start. He calmly, deliberately releases Foggy and straightens up.
Now he registers that Foggy's breathing is faster, his heart beating quicker - he missed the shift from unconsciousness to awareness, and now it's already fast with preemptive fight-or-flight. Well, not quite that much. Foggy is alarmed, but this isn't Foggy's panic response, yet, he thinks.
"Karen called me," he says, mustering himself for innocence - he can only hope he's gotten better since Colombia, because according to Foggy, he can't act worth shit. "I came as soon as I could. How bad is it? Do you know who they were?" Not that it matters much: the City will give him his ton of flesh for this, so he'll find them sooner or later.
Foggy's heart is only beating faster, though his breathing isn't too bad. He's sweating slightly, an adrenal response, and his skin has heated enough again that it's registering strongly against Matt's own. He's upset, and Matt kind of can't really blame him, because - because. Matt would be upset. He revisits the thoughts he had back when this all first started, that he was violating some kind of decency law or performing some kind of sexual misconduct.
Which he had been, for God's sake, even if apparently he'd been refusing to acknowledge it for - years.
"I'm fine," Foggy says, somewhat doubtfully, and Matt doesn't even bother with his 'invasive' and dodgy polygraph techniques to overanalyze that - there is obviously nothing okay with this situation. "No need for the good drugs," he adds graciously, "I am already high enough as it is, because I could have sworn you just kissed me."
Matt hates this game and doesn't care if his face shows it - this game that Foggy plays where he pretends, blatantly, that he's going along with whatever fib has been told: handing his prey more and more rope with which to hang themselves. Matt has listened to him play it with his teenaged sisters before, and doesn't appreciate that it's being used here. There's no question in Foggy's mind what he woke up to, and Matt - Matt's not being left off the hook.
"Huh," he offers, flatly, like: what an outlandish hallucination, Foggy, golly gee whiz.
"Dunno why I would have hallucinated that," Foggy adds, pointedly. "I mean, I have not been short on hot nurses - I'm a hero, you know - has anyone given you the whole story? There was a little old lady involved."
Of course there was. Foggy has a soft-spot for the elderly ever since his grandmother moved in with his family shortly before highschool. She's still kicking, of course, and is allegedly the origin of the Nelsons' good genes and why they're all going to live forever.
"When isn't there," Matt asks.
His hopes that the story would distract Foggy are dashed, because Foggy says "Uh-huh, so. 's strange, you know. I'm tired and on drugs, but I'm pretty sure that I didn't lose enough blood to be hallucinating my best friend kissing me - but weirder things have happened! I mean, aliens invaded, so."
Matt's not sure why that galls him, but it does: that him kissing Foggy somehow ranks on the same levels as the chitauri. He should probably take the out - he should probably -
He's been reliable informed his self-preservation instinct is for shit and Jack didn't raise a coward and there have been lies enough so Matt says "Okay, so maybe I've been doing that for years."
Foggy says, "what."
"I didn't mean to," Matt says, even though he did, he really did, every time, he just didn't know the why of it. "I know it's not -" okay "but I just-" need to know you're okay, you're alive, you're going to be there the next day, but "I'll stop, okay? I'll -"
Go out of my mind. He feels like it anyway, right this moment, frustrated and losing the war with his words. He knows what to say to charm people, most of the time, but not Foggy. It's always harder when it's Foggy, because Foggy knows him and he knows Foggy and it's bad enough to lie, he doesn't need to add to that by trying to manipulate Foggy because Foggy finds out - Foggy always finds out, and this last round of revelations had nearly flayed Matt alive, he can't survive something like that twice. He's strong and he's got the devil inside him and Murdocks can take a hit and the getting up is the part that matters, but he's never been as strong as his Dad, he won't get up again.
"Matt," Foggy says, and "Matt" like he's still talking even though he's already stuttered to a stop. He's just shaking, but he always shakes a bit when he gets this frustrated, this infuriated, at himself and at the world and at everything. "Matt," he says a third time, then: "you don't have to stop."
It takes Matt a bit to process this, to parse it and place it back into the context of what he'd actually said verses what he had only thought. It still doesn't make any sense in context, either, he decides, so he says: "I'm pretty sure I do."
Foggy sighs, loud and gusty, the way he does when he's particularly frustrated with Matt. He's only rarely a soft-touch with Matt after they got to know each other - sometimes more when he's drunk. He's mostly been frustrated, recently, and Matt tries not to resent it. "No, you really don't. I mean - you're clearly being a little bit - eh -" the noise is accompanied by a gesture that is wide enough to register with Matt, a see-saw of Foggy's hand that suggests Matt's being questionable, which: thanks, he'd figured that out all on his own - "but. I guess there's probably worse coping methods? Just ... not when I'm - sleeping, or whatever. Outside of fairy tales, that's a bit much. And even inside fairy tales, that's kind of - you know."
His fingertips tingle a bit, maybe ache. A bit like they had during that long dry spell between Colombia and Daredevil. His mouth feels a bit loose and hungry, which is - new. But he hadn't known until now, so maybe that had something to do with it. He opens it to say - something - but nothing comes out, and the need to cross the space again, to set his fingertips to the tiny roadways under Foggy's skin and set his mouth to the hot wetness of Foggy's and reassure himself with all his available senses that Foggy is a thing that actually exists and will continue to exist is nearly overwhelming.
It feels greedy to ask "What about now?" But he does, because Foggy said so and he needs it - he still needs it, he feels shaky with frustration and a fear he still hasn't laid completely to rest, that Daredevil will be too much to ask of Foggy (it's been too much to ask of people before-).
"Now," Foggy echoes, sounding stunned, his heart rate ratcheting up, and Matt can't tell if it's bad or good. "You want to kiss me now? Uh, buddy, it's been kind of a long day, my mouth is pretty gross -"
"I don't care," Matt says. He doesn't. He can barely remember what it was like before his senses anymore, but he lives his day with his mouth around tailpipes, with his tongue pressed to pavement, full of water from the Hudson and grime and guts and rotting things in the alleys and in the dumpsters, so stale breath is the least of his concerns.
Foggy laughs, high and nervous, but that's the sign that Matt was looking for - the good one. That laugh is the one Foggy gives when he can't believe he's actually getting somewhere with a girl that his heart swears is the most attractive person in the entire place. "Yeah, okay."
He doesn't need to be told twice; Foggy's bright against his skin, a beacon in the chilled room, so he bends forward and reaches out, first to Foggy's shoulder and then slides it up and marks the distance with his thumb at rest on his chin. Matt's spatial awareness is pretty good, but when it comes to kissing there's so much to pay attention to he prefers to be cautious.
Foggy's heart jumps and his breath hitches in that particular way and this is it: if this happens, things are going to change. He hesitates. He almost asks 'okay', but he's not sure he wants the answer, not sure he could take a step back at this point, and so -
So Matt breaches the distance and kisses Foggy. It's soft, and warm, and Foggy is alive and well under his lips, and it's different - it's different actually being a kiss, but also and mostly because Foggy kisses back.
Foggy knows. Foggy's known him for years, and he knows what Matt does and he hates it and Foggy still kisses him back. Oh, he thinks again.
He feels hollowed out again, but the City is distant and can't crawl its way in; Matt is hollowed out, and his bones are pulled from his skin and turned around and placed back in again; he is made empty and then he is illuminated and the devil that hides inside him scrambles, and it flees to the scattered shadows and curls up small and quiet into the bend of his fingers and the curve of his spine where the only person it hurts is him.
Oh.
--
"I can't believe you tricked me into a relationship while I was high on drugs," Foggy tells him.
"You weren't that high," Matt says lazily. Foggy had been stabbed and sewn up again, but it had been a shallow cut and it hadn't punctured any organs. The nurse he'd questioned that night reassured him that Foggy's decision making skills wouldn't have been all that impaired. Not that he'd been worried or anything.
"You don't know that. I could have been tasting colors and watching cartoon characters dance across the room, Matt. Look, just because you've been pining for years -"
"I have not," he interrupts, a bit prickly. If he'd been pining, he's pretty sure he would have noticed. Probably.
"Uh huh." Foggy doesn't sound particularly impressed or convinced. "Look, just because you've been pining for years-" He ignores Matt's loud sigh, "doesn't mean you can pull a Edward Cullen-"
"We have to break up, right now, immediately," Matt says, because there are things he's willing to overlook for love and then there are Twilight jokes. Matt is never going to mention his quiet nights on patrol ever if Foggy is already breaking them out.
"Oh, shut up," Foggy says, and throws a pen at him; he's not really trying, so Matt allows it to hit his chest. "I have sisters, need I remind you. I'm just saying, there is a certain pattern of behavior here that's slightly worrying."
"Uh huh," Matt says, wondering if he's supposed to react to Foggy's words or his body, because he's getting mixed messages here. Foggy doesn't even sound particularly mad, but he's not saying anything Matt hasn't thought, either, so.
He's aware of Foggy studying his reaction and wonders what Foggy's reading. He's never entirely sure how much his own body betrays him - spatial awareness does not help with reading facial tics or body language. He doesn't know what it looks like to avoid doing it himself.
"Ah, jeez," Foggy says, sounding put out suddenly. "I'm the superhero's girlfriend! This sucks."
Okay, he's very aware of the wide grin that breaks out across his face, though he manages not to actually laugh. "I'm not a superhero," he denies, "and you're not a girl."
"Don't argue semantics with me," he says. He's well and truly angry, but not at himself and not at Matt, so that's fine. "How is this my life? How am I supposed to explain this to my mother, Matt? I'm the one she's not supposed to have to worry about! What if there are supervillain schemes and I end up getting kidnapped? We can't do that to my mom!"
"I'm almost entirely convinced that won't be a problem," he says dryly, remembering the way Foggy had effortlessly tied almost the entire campus of Colombia around his little finger. His brain helpfully offers him the scenario of Wilson Fisk giving him the shovel talk and he can't quite help the disgusted grimace.
And sure, it's an actual problem, and Matt knows that they'll revisit it soon enough - Foggy isn't one to let a problem that serious rest, just because he raised it in jest first. But for now, for right this moment, he allows himself not to worry about it, to get up and step around Foggy's desk and kiss the rest of his arguments into silence.
The City and the Devil have enough of him; here, with Foggy, in the space between their mouths, he's just Matt, illuminated.
-
Re: Fill: though you are asleep [2/2]
(Anonymous) 2015-09-01 04:22 pm (UTC)(link)And then -
Oh, he thinks, and for the first time, his mouth softens into a kiss.
And the world is not kind, or easy, or gentle or nice, and so against his mouth is said: "what the fuck."
- I just about busted my gut laughing. XD
He's been reliable informed his self-preservation instinct is for shit and Jack didn't raise a coward and there have been lies enough so Matt says "Okay, so maybe I've been doing that for years."
Foggy says, "what."
- Pfffffffffft
"I didn't mean to," Matt says, even though he did, he really did, every time, he just didn't know the why of it.
- Matt, it's a four letter word beginning with "L", you silly goose.
the need to cross the space again, to set his fingertips to the tiny roadways under Foggy's skin and set his mouth to the hot wetness of Foggy's and reassure himself with all his available senses that Foggy is a thing that actually exists and will continue to exist is nearly overwhelming.
- ;____; ♥
he lives his day with his mouth around tailpipes, with his tongue pressed to pavement, full of water from the Hudson and grime and guts and rotting things in the alleys and in the dumpsters, so stale breath is the least of his concerns.
- Omg, I'd hate to be his dentist.
"Look, just because you've been pining for years-" He ignores Matt's loud sigh, "doesn't mean you can pull a Edward Cullen-"
"We have to break up, right now, immediately," Matt says, because there are things he's willing to overlook for love and then there are Twilight jokes.
- *cracks up forever*
"Ah, jeez," Foggy says, sounding put out suddenly. "I'm the superhero's girlfriend! This sucks."
Okay, he's very aware of the wide grin that breaks out across his face, though he manages not to actually laugh. "I'm not a superhero," he denies, "and you're not a girl."
"Don't argue semantics with me," he says.
- *DIES*
This was amazeballs, anon! Thank you so much for sharing!
Re: Fill: though you are asleep [2/2]
(Anonymous) 2015-09-01 06:13 pm (UTC)(link)and yes of course, you have to throw some humor in there because otherwise Matt's just gonna bleed angst all over everything haha.
Omg, I'd hate to be his dentist.
LMAO my imagery there is a bit rough, but lbr with super senses Matt probably equally tastes smells as he does smell them, and the city is really super potent. Equally as much as crying about how cotton hurts him and everything is too loud, I think Matt should have been hurling because of all the gross smells and tastes. I bet he hates perfume and cologne because if you've ever gotten any in your mouth it's the worst.
Re: Fill: though you are asleep [2/2]
(Anonymous) 2015-09-01 06:36 pm (UTC)(link)Tbqh I'm behind as all get out on the kinkmeme on reading, commenting, AND writing, but this was so damn freaking perfect and cute and 2000% how I like to see Matt (AFFECTIONATE, OBSESSIVE CREEPER FTW), so I could NOT resist taking a break from obnoxious Real Life Interference to read and comment on it. There was just no chance. None. Nope. Zip. It drew me in like a magnet. ;_;
Hahahahaha, yeah, I figured it was at least partially based on scents rather than Matt's mouth actually being in contact with all of that stuff, but LBR, he's totally taken some poundings and eaten dirt. So. XD
(And unfortunately, I HAVE gotten perfume/body mist/whatever in my mouth before, and WOE. SUCH WOE.)
Re: Fill: though you are asleep [2/2]
(Anonymous) 2015-09-01 05:13 pm (UTC)(link)Anyway, excellent job.
Re: Fill: though you are asleep [2/2]
(Anonymous) 2015-09-01 06:31 pm (UTC)(link)Or perhaps you want a certain PoV, but the character who is really speaking to you with this story has a difficult voice? Like, generally my MattPoV is solely like the middle part - he experiences the worlds through sensations and sounds and so his PoVs are introspective and artsy but also full of act-react because Matt's a man of action. Foggy's just generally more down to earth so his PoV is straight-forward and factual and he's not given to thinking deeply about his emotions or logic and just does what feels right.
So generally speaking Matt would be who you'd want to use to write a mystery story because he has drive and a noir flair, but maybe it's Foggy's wryness that's speaking to you and you're just like "argh, no, stfu, Foggy! You are the worst for mysteries" and he's just like "well, no need to be rude, but this is what I think about what's going on" and you're left with your head in your hands.
And sometimes the moon aligns and Matt's willing to wax poetical about being Edward Cullen idek
Re: Fill: though you are asleep [2/2]
(Anonymous) 2015-09-01 05:45 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Fill: though you are asleep [2/2]
(Anonymous) 2015-09-01 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)This is the very first time one of the things I prompted ever got filled, so yay! You seriously made my day, I was super exhausted from classes today, and it was amazing to come home to this! :D
This was so beautiful, your writing is brilliant. And oh my god, I just about died towards the end. Foggy is seriously the best. XD
Re: Fill: though you are asleep [2/2]
(Anonymous) 2015-09-02 04:39 am (UTC)(link)and lmao yes, the ending. Foggy just doesn't know what to do with his super creeper boyfriend, he's deflecting from the fact that he likes it so much. Those boys smh
Re: Fill: though you are asleep [2/2]
(Anonymous) 2015-09-01 08:34 pm (UTC)(link)aww this was so so beautifully written and lovely and such a great little character study of matt murdock too. also foggy is too precious for this world!
His brain helpfully offers him the scenario of Wilson Fisk giving him the shovel talk and he can't quite help the disgusted grimace.
dear god lol poor matt
Re: Fill: though you are asleep [2/2]
(Anonymous) 2015-09-02 01:37 am (UTC)(link)Aaaaaaah
Aaaaaaaaah
I am screaming with joy because this is amazing.
Re: Fill: though you are asleep [2/2]
(Anonymous) 2015-09-02 02:24 am (UTC)(link)Really, I love this. <3 Matt's, er, questionable tendencies were fascinating to see from the inside. And Foggy being all mmm, bit creepy, Matt, but then still being right there in it with him, gah. I love it.
(Also, If he'd been pining, he's pretty sure he would have noticed. Probably. ahahahahah. hah.)
Re: Fill: though you are asleep [2/2]
(Anonymous) 2015-09-02 04:53 am (UTC)(link)Foggy totally digs Matt's co-dependent lack of boundaries, don't even let him lie to you. He's probably seen a few of his sibs' relationship implode due to similar behavior, but it's Matt com'n.
(HE STALKED FOGGY TO A PARTY AT COLOMBIA. BEFORE THEY WERE EVEN REALLY FRIENDS. MATT. YOU LOSER. YOU GIANT, DENSE NERD. IS2G)