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daredevilkink2015-08-14 07:00 pm
ddk_mod) wrote in daredevilkink2015-08-14 07:00 pm
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Prompt Post #6
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Re: [fill] DEADPOOL AND FOGPOOL VOLUME 1: THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT (3/3)
(Anonymous) 2015-12-13 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)“It’s okay! It’s okay!” Foggy shouted as soon as he twigged on to what was happening. “I’m okay. Are you okay?” Foggy asked. Deadpool gave him a thumbs-up from where he was lying like a broken toy but didn’t otherwise move.
“One thing you oughtta know about me if we’re going to keep running into each other is that I’m always okay. Eventually. Just give me some time for my spine to heal up and I’ll be out of your hair. Your hair’s really nice by the way.”
“I—thanks?” Foggy said, completely thrown.
“Foggy,” Matt interjected, which at least saved him from having to come up with some sort of response to that. “What’s happening?”
“Oh! Um, a, a, guy just crashed through my window. It’s, he’s Deadpool, you remember I told you about him? He’s, uh, he’s lying in a heap right now, but he gave me a thumbs-up earlier so. I guess he’s okay. He’s, uh, he’s a pretty tall guy and he’s wearing a red and black, like, jumpsuit. He has a pair of swords and a huge gun. Not a euphemism,” Foggy said, falling with gratitude back into the habit of describing everything to Matt. Matt and Karen opened their mouths to say something, but Deadpool beat them both to it.
“Do you know you’re narrating things out loud?” he asked from where he was lying in a sad heap. “Careful with that, people will think you’re crazy if you do it where they can hear you. Of course, sometimes they’re right, but I feel like I should give you a warning, Fog-pool.”
“Fog-pool?” Karen repeated.
“—and he looks like a knockoff version of Spiderman.” Foggy finishes. “If you remember what I said Spiderman looks like. That kind of suit. Like Spiderman, but shittier.”
“Fog-pool?” Karen repeated. “That’s worse than Foggy-bear.”
“I remember you talked a lot about his fine ass,” Matt said mildly. “He looks like that guy?”
“Yes, but a shittier version, Matt, try to keep up.”
“Should you be administering first air, Fog-pool?” Karen asked. She was still holding the knife (it looked like the one she kept around for eating grapefruits), but she was holding less like she was about to stab another human with it.
“Don’t bother, Fog-pool, if you moved me you’d just slow the process down. You don’t have to try to break the fourth wall just because you’re my sidekick. It’s a nice thought, but really not necessary.”
“And there you have it,” Foggy said, ignoring the… rest of whatever the hell Deadpool was going on about. It was a skill he’d been perfecting in the last few weeks. “No need for first aid. And I’m narrating for my partner Matt.” Matt waved sardonically from the door. “He’s slumped facing the wall, I’m pretty sure he can’t see you,” Foggy told him.
“Well at least it’s mutual,” Matt said. “Mr. Deadpool, I’m Matt Murdock. I am, as Foggy has already told you, Foggy’s partner in law. I’m blind.”
“You’re married?” Deadpool said to Foggy. “That’s nice. Everyone should have someone, or something. Hey! Can I ask--”
“Nope, just law partners,” Foggy said, making good use of his ignore Deadpool’s word-mouth skill. “Karen’s here, too. She’s our secretary.”
Deadpool’s… spine, apparently, finished healing in about eight minutes, along with the rest of him. There was a horrifying moment when all his muscles apparently decided to knit themselves back together at once, and they wrenched his torso back into the correct alignment. (“You’re probably lucky you didn’t have to see that, Matty.” “Sure thing, Fog-pool.”) Once he was more or less in the right shape, Deadpool grabbed his gun and left via the window, shouting a promise to bring beer and pizza to Foggy’s place later. Foggy had no doubt there would in fact be pizza and beer later, and he even had hope that he’d be able to convince Deadpool to pitch in to cover the cost of replacing the window, but Matt and Karen…
“I’ll get you the broom and dustpan, Fog-pool,” Karen said.
--
As Foggy had feared, Karen called him Fog-pool for the rest of the week. Deadpool kept asking Foggy about Matt, like “how did you guys meet?” Matt went back to pretending not to be sniffing Foggy every day he came into work.
----
“I have it from a reliable source that Daredevil met your boyfriend last night,” Matt said blandly when Foggy come into the office a week later. Foggy paused on the threshold.
“See, I was going to offer you a Danish, but how I don’t think I want to,” Foggy finally said. He raised the box of pastries he was holding in one hand. “Guess Karen gets yours.”
“What kind of Danish?” Karen asked, approaching him with her hands outstretched to receive the pastry goodness that was her due.
“Cherry cheese,” Foggy said. For Matt’s benefit he added, “From Julienne’s.” Julienne’s was Matt’s favorite bakery.
“Why do you mock me?” Matt asked. Karen relieved Foggy of the pastry box, cooing happily at the treats within.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” Foggy reminded Matt patiently.
“Oh, that’s right. Because we’re married,” Matt said, still placid as a secluded lake.
“So. Daredevil and Deadpool team-up?”
“More like Daredevil was minding his own business and Deadpool decided to join the party. He’s been hanging around Hell’s Kitchen a lot lately.”
“Is that my fault?”
“What is fault,” Matt said, shrugging philosophically. “He said I have a nice ass.”
Foggy considered that Deadpool was right, but refrained from saying so. Fortunately, at that junction Karen shouted at them that she was going to eat all the pastries if they kept having conversations about their secret double lives without her.
--
Turns out that case Foggy was working on—the one with the small business owner with the shady landlord?—was way more hazardous than anyone at Nelson, Murdock and Page hoped. (The name change was basically inevitable; they just didn’t have the cash for a new sign yet. Foggy wasn’t sure what he was going to do with the old sign when they finally did pony up. Keep it or give it to Matt, probably. Be a shame for it to end up in the trash again.) Anyway, it turned out that the lady’s landlord had ties with some sort of crime… family? Foggy was unclear on the details. The shady bastards who’d grabbed him hadn’t exactly taken the time to explain everything clearly with the aid of colorful graphics and flowcharts.
Oh, and he’d been grabbed by some shady bastards on his way home from the grocer’s. He remembered being grabbed, struggling against a dude who seemed to be made entirely of muscle, and then waking up in a moving vehicle bound and gagged with a bag over his head. The pain in his head and the missing time suggested that he should probably get checked for a concussion at the first opportunity. The shady bastards had hauled him out of the car, marched him down some stairs, and untied him just long enough to retie him to a chair.
He was passing the time by struggling futilely against his bonds and humming showtunes as loudly as he could manage. Matt hated them. Foggy figured if Daredevil was out looking for him, the tunes might catch his attention. And it was marginally better than panicking.
Shortly, Foggy heard what he hoped was his heroic rescue. It started with running feet and some raised voices, then some angry raised voices, then the sound of gunfire. Foggy winced. He really didn’t like the idea of Matt getting shot at. Then there was a huge, concussive boom. What the…? It got much quieter after that.
Then there was a familiar voice, getting closer. Two familiar voices actually. Oh, no, Foggy thought. You must be joking.
“Stay away from him, you hear me? In fact, get out of Hell’s Kitchen.”
“Ha, fucking no, but it’s cute you think that’s going to work, horns. Now shut up, I have a sidekick to save.”
“A sidekick?” Oh, good, Matt was so angry he was slipping back into his normal voice. Idiot. Foggy hissed something to this effect under his breath and hoped Matt would pick it up.
“Yeah. This is my sidekick we’re saving, moron.”
“He’s not your—he never agreed to be your sidekick!”
“Aw, hell, I think he’s right. Shut up, I know this is what I get for assuming. Cripes, now everyone is ganging up on me…”
“I’m in here!” Foggy called, recognizing the dulcet tones of Deadpool starting to talk to himself. “In case you wanted to come save me!”
“I’m coming, Mr. Nelson!” called Matt. Foggy heard the minute pause as his friend remembered that maybe Daredevil should be so obviously on a first-name basis with some random lawyer. Good job, Matt.
“Don’t worry, Fog-pool! I’ll save you!” Deadpool called almost simultaneously. There was the sound of running feet and then—they were still coming closer, but it sounded like they were flipping off the walls and crap.
Lo and behold, when they finally burst into view, they were indeed flipping all up and over each other and occasionally elbowing and kicking each other. Cool moves aside, Foggy was less than impressed. Surely running to his rescue like normal people would have been more efficient. (“Normal people,” good one, Nelson.) Matt—wait, no, Daredevil ran to his side and started futzing with the ropes. Deadpool was hot on his heels, but instead of helping or, Foggy doesn’t know, maybe just letting Daredevil untie him, the mercenary grabbed Daredevil and yanked him away.
“Get off, I’m rescuing him, got it?” Deadpool said, giving Daredevil a little shove in the chest to make him take a step back.
“Excuse me? No, I’m rescuing him. He’s—he lives in my territory and this is my business.” Daredevil tried to dodge around him without success.
“He’s what, your lawyer? He’s my sidekick, and I get to rescue him.”
“Uh, guys,” Foggy began. They ignored him.
“HE IS NOT YOUR SIDEKICK,” Daredevil shouted, throwing a punch that Deadpool easily blocked. “You’re just some creepy guy who crashed into his life, and he’s too nice to tell you to blow.”
“Oh, wow,” Foggy said under his breath. Harsh, buddy. Not entirely inaccurate, but also not entirely true at this point. “Oh, wow,” he repeated as Deadpool took a swing at Daredevil. No, nope this wasn’t happening. “HEY. NO FIGHTING.”
To his surprise, they stopped. Foggy decided to roll with it. They seemed just as surprised as he did, easing awkwardly out of their fighting posture.
“Fighting is almost all of what I do,” Deadpool said after a moment. “Except, sleeping, eating, pissing and crapping, and getting it on. It’s probably what I’m best at, not gonna lie.”
“One or both of you untie me,” Foggy commanded, ignoring that. Deadpool and Daredevil looked warily at each other. “Oh, for the love of—Deadpool, cut me out of these ropes.” Matt—and it was definitely Matt, not Deadpool—scoffed, and Deadpool peeled his mask up enough to stick his tongue out at Matt. Jesus Christ. “Never mind,” Foggy snapped as Deadpool took a step closer. “Deadpool, hand Daredevil a knife, and he can cut me out.”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Deadpool protested, complying.
“Nobody likes a sore loser, dead head,” Daredevil said. He took the knife and started cutting Foggy’s ropes.
“Wow, haven’t heard that one in almost a month!” Deadpool said brightly. “Why don’t you go sh—”
“And that’s enough of that,” Foggy interrupted, taking his feet. “Thank you, Daredevil. Thank you, Deadpool. I’m going to find a payphone and call the cops now, and you’re free to skulk around and fret about my safety as long as you don’t fight with each other. At all.”
As Foggy was waiting for the police to arrive, he realized that, just as it had been the first time he’d met Deadpool, it was a Saturday. He listened to the sounds of his two masked friends bickering overhead and reflected that his life was unlikely to approach anything close to “normal” any time soon. And that it was just possible that that wasn’t the worst thing after all.
---
...and that's it, folks! If it feels like it wrapped up quickly, well, it did, but i figure some ending is better than no ending? Also, Deadpool totally drops by Foggy's place whenever he's in Hell's Kitchen. He and Daredevil do that weird dance people always do when they share a close friend but don't get along with each other. He gets along a little better than matt (foggy's pretty sure deadpool thinks he and matt are dating), and he absolutely treats Karen like the precious goddess she is (and you can't tell me otherwise). karen definitely becomes better armed because of her friendship with him. she occasionally responds to kare-pool, but never actually goes out sidekicking for deadpool because NOPE.
be well!
Re: [fill] DEADPOOL AND FOGPOOL VOLUME 1: THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT (3/3)
(Anonymous) 2015-12-14 12:08 am (UTC)(link)Re: [fill] DEADPOOL AND FOGPOOL VOLUME 1: THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT (3/3)
(Anonymous) 2015-12-29 08:26 pm (UTC)(link)Re: [fill] DEADPOOL AND FOGPOOL VOLUME 1: THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT (3/3)
(Anonymous) 2016-12-30 10:17 am (UTC)(link)Re: [fill] DEADPOOL AND FOGPOOL VOLUME 1: THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT (3/3)
(Anonymous) 2016-12-30 10:17 am (UTC)(link)whoops i'm a dumb