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daredevilkink2015-05-09 07:29 pm
ddk_mod) wrote in daredevilkink2015-05-09 07:29 pm
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Discussion/Off-Topic Post #1
Please head over to Discussion Post #2!
Please head over to Discussion Post #2!
Okay, so I'm gonna start us off. Would anyone mind giving me feedback on "This is not your city, but it could be"? http://archiveofourown.org/works/4173048/chapters/9421338
It's pretty much slice of life thing and it's a wip, but is there anything I need to keep in mind as I write? How do I write more description for this? I feel like it's too dialog heavy, what do you all think?
It's pretty much slice of life thing and it's a wip, but is there anything I need to keep in mind as I write? How do I write more description for this? I feel like it's too dialog heavy, what do you all think?
I've got a Marvel Unlimited subscription, so I'll read pretty much everything. I've read everything from 1998 to today, so 2000s yes, read them all fairly recently and enjoyed them a lot.
Never watched Downton Abbey. Is it worth bothering with? Bearing in mind it's rare for me to watch anything that isn't at least a little bit sci-fi or fantasy?
If you were to watch it for Charlie then no, cos he's only in like one ep lol (and he's suuuuuuch a dick)
Personally, I LOVED the first series when it first came out, the second series was decent, and then it went downhill :') I literally hate all the characters lmao oh god and whenever I see bits of it now I just...it's so trashy XD
Er so yeah...not the first show I would rec :')
Personally, I LOVED the first series when it first came out, the second series was decent, and then it went downhill :') I literally hate all the characters lmao oh god and whenever I see bits of it now I just...it's so trashy XD
Er so yeah...not the first show I would rec :')
Seconding the comment above, especially if you're mainly into sci-fi fantasy. The first season was brilliant and the second was good enough but don't bother with anything past the first episode of S3. It goes downhill and fast.
Charlie's in the first episode of the first season though and it's quite good and you'd have nothing to catch up on plot-wise so you could just watch that one if you want to see him being a dick and making out with the handsome footman.
Charlie's in the first episode of the first season though and it's quite good and you'd have nothing to catch up on plot-wise so you could just watch that one if you want to see him being a dick and making out with the handsome footman.
Yes! That's the one, thank you!!! Wish I'd found it in time to re-prompt it on the fill fest post but oh well, still keeping my fingers crossed :P
Just wait for the next fill fest, anon! Shouldn't take that long for our current prompt post to reach 4000 comments.
AYRT
I've actually had it saved because I'd love to fill it if no one else does :'))
I've actually had it saved because I'd love to fill it if no one else does :'))
It's pride in London today so - happy pride everyone!!! <3
Do you know if marvel unlimited do discounts or anything? I rly wanna try it but I'm so broke sigh
Random thoughts:
Mike appears in NYC and makes his way to Matt's apartment in the middle of the day, wearing the suit, and nobody sees him or remarks on it or anything?
You change verb tenses in the middle of chapter 2. Chapter 1 is in present tense, then chapter 2 starts in past tense and switches over suddenly to present tense. In chapter 5, you're back to past tense again, and so on. Pick one tense and stick with it.
In chapter 2, Mike says he'll explain everything after coffee, but the only thing he explains is that he fell off the Bifrost. There's not a word about the fact that he's also Matt Murdock, even though Matt is thinking that everything about him is familiar, there's no mention of alternate universes, or what Mike was doing on the Bifrost in the first place.
And obviously, he'll be stuck in Matt's universe if he can't get back onto the Bifrost. Wouldn't he want to contact the Avengers at some point in an attempt to get in contact with Thor and through him, Heimdall, and try to get back that way?
Would Matt really recognize his "own" voice coming from another person? Often when we hear our voices from a recording, they sound different than we expected. Wouldn't it be the same coming from another person?
You definitely need more description in this, especially explaining who everybody is. But don't dump all the description into long paragraphs (also known as info-dumps.) Stretch it out, a little bit here and little bit there, between bits of dialogue.
The word "it's" is always short for "it is." If you want the possessive pronoun, it's "its." As in "the city is in its shifting state."
In chapter six, you switch points of view. Mostly, this story is told from Mike's POV, but suddenly, you have lines like "Matt felt the vibrations pass through him in a gentle wave" or "Matt nodded against his shoulder. He couldn’t imagine that kind of life, not yet, but t had seemed to make his counterpart steadier, more settled in himself, so it probably wouldn’t be that bad." These are definitely from Matt's POV, not Mike's. This is also known as "head-hopping" and it can confuse the reader. "Hey, wait a minute, here I was in Mike's head, listening to what he hears, feeling what he feels, how come I'm suddenly feeling what Matt feels and thinking what Matt thinks?"
For those of us who don't know the comics and only know the TV show, who is Kirsten and what is she to Mike? Same for Milla. What happened between them to make Mike react in such an emotional way?
You might want to be more detailed about the differences between Mike's universe and Matt's, not just one line here about Foggy being sick or having treatment. Treatment for what, by the way?
Some of the chapters are so short as to be annoying to me as a reader, but other people might not be so affected.
Hope this helps! And just keep writing.
Mike appears in NYC and makes his way to Matt's apartment in the middle of the day, wearing the suit, and nobody sees him or remarks on it or anything?
You change verb tenses in the middle of chapter 2. Chapter 1 is in present tense, then chapter 2 starts in past tense and switches over suddenly to present tense. In chapter 5, you're back to past tense again, and so on. Pick one tense and stick with it.
In chapter 2, Mike says he'll explain everything after coffee, but the only thing he explains is that he fell off the Bifrost. There's not a word about the fact that he's also Matt Murdock, even though Matt is thinking that everything about him is familiar, there's no mention of alternate universes, or what Mike was doing on the Bifrost in the first place.
And obviously, he'll be stuck in Matt's universe if he can't get back onto the Bifrost. Wouldn't he want to contact the Avengers at some point in an attempt to get in contact with Thor and through him, Heimdall, and try to get back that way?
Would Matt really recognize his "own" voice coming from another person? Often when we hear our voices from a recording, they sound different than we expected. Wouldn't it be the same coming from another person?
You definitely need more description in this, especially explaining who everybody is. But don't dump all the description into long paragraphs (also known as info-dumps.) Stretch it out, a little bit here and little bit there, between bits of dialogue.
The word "it's" is always short for "it is." If you want the possessive pronoun, it's "its." As in "the city is in its shifting state."
In chapter six, you switch points of view. Mostly, this story is told from Mike's POV, but suddenly, you have lines like "Matt felt the vibrations pass through him in a gentle wave" or "Matt nodded against his shoulder. He couldn’t imagine that kind of life, not yet, but t had seemed to make his counterpart steadier, more settled in himself, so it probably wouldn’t be that bad." These are definitely from Matt's POV, not Mike's. This is also known as "head-hopping" and it can confuse the reader. "Hey, wait a minute, here I was in Mike's head, listening to what he hears, feeling what he feels, how come I'm suddenly feeling what Matt feels and thinking what Matt thinks?"
For those of us who don't know the comics and only know the TV show, who is Kirsten and what is she to Mike? Same for Milla. What happened between them to make Mike react in such an emotional way?
You might want to be more detailed about the differences between Mike's universe and Matt's, not just one line here about Foggy being sick or having treatment. Treatment for what, by the way?
Some of the chapters are so short as to be annoying to me as a reader, but other people might not be so affected.
Hope this helps! And just keep writing.
Author anon - I love you anon. Yes, I will definitely go back and edit. I didn't have a beta and I didn't pick up on a lot of those issues. Thank you so much for the feedback!
Author anon - I'm not sure how to avoid the head hopping as some of the chapters make sense from the different points of view, so is there any way I can make that more clear?
If you switch POV's in each chapter, it shouldn't be a problem. That's a natural break, and the reader can go along with it. It's only a problem when it happens in the middle of a chapter. Just make sure you identify the main character for each chapter, ideally in the first sentence or two, so that the reader knows which POV to expect, and you should be all right.
Okay, thanks! Hopefully, with the rewrites, the chapters will get longer, but I'm not the best at writing long chapters so...Thanks again for all your help! You are the best. :)
Quick guys, if Matt were forced to sing a karaoke song which one would he sing??
K thx
K thx
The first month is free, so it's worth trying it for a month at least. It's $9.99 monthly after that, which isn't too bad for what you get. Compared to actually buying the comics it's a bargain. Especially if you read as many as me!
What about girl on girl action? I have yet to see any names, like
karen and claire: Clairen? Kariere?! (Oh no xD)
Karen and marci: karci? Marren?
karen and claire: Clairen? Kariere?! (Oh no xD)
Karen and marci: karci? Marren?
I'd be interested in Beta-ing for someone. My email is timurareed@gmail.com
Yo, I've got an urge to write something for this pairing and I know there were prompts on the meme, so link me?
I found these four:
http://daredevilkink.dreamwidth.org/725.html?thread=1228757#cmt1228757
http://daredevilkink.dreamwidth.org/1296.html?thread=1549072#cmt1549072
http://daredevilkink.dreamwidth.org/1296.html?thread=1868304#cmt1868304
http://daredevilkink.dreamwidth.org/1742.html?thread=3119310#cmt3119310
http://daredevilkink.dreamwidth.org/725.html?thread=1228757#cmt1228757
http://daredevilkink.dreamwidth.org/1296.html?thread=1549072#cmt1549072
http://daredevilkink.dreamwidth.org/1296.html?thread=1868304#cmt1868304
http://daredevilkink.dreamwidth.org/1742.html?thread=3119310#cmt3119310
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