Prompt Post #4

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Comments

Tentacle porn

[(Anonymous)]

Title says it all. We needs it.

Re: Tentacle porn

[(Anonymous)]

DUBIOUS/CONSENTACLES, the best tag on AO3?

("...you said you weren't keeping any more secrets, Matt!"

"THIS IS NEW! this is VERY NEW I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE THEM STOP THAT -")

Re: Tentacle porn

[(Anonymous)]

I DID NOT KNOW I WANTED THIS BUT NOW I NEED IT LIKE BURNING!

"Bad touch tentacle, Murdock!"

Re: Tentacle porn

[(Anonymous)]

LOL HELP

(just imagine the helpful alien/magicians who hear about braille, say, and are like "oh! OH! you use your hands to navigate! but you only have two? that's gotta suck, here, have A BUNCH MORE APPENDAGES"

and matt's all "NO. NO NO - STOP LAUGHING, HAWKEYE - WHY WON'T THEY LISTEN TO ME THEY DON'T DO WHAT I WANT?"

helpful alien/magician: "oh, they do exactly what you want. EXACTLY."

matt: "why am i not STRANGLING MYSELF then? explain?!?")

Re: Tentacle porn

[(Anonymous)]

omg. YES.

Foggy: So when your grandma used to say the Murdock boys had the devil in 'em -

Matt: I DID NOT KNOW IT WAS LITERAL, I SWEAR

Foggy: This is kind of more 'eldritch god' than 'Lucifer', though, yanno?

Matt: STOP JOKING AND HELP

Foggy: Dude, they're YOUR tentacles being all touchy feely! You stop!

Matt: I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY'RE MOVING AGAINST MY WILL

Foggy: So when that little one with the freckle punched the mugger trying to sneak up on me...

Matt: FIRST TIME I EVER SAW IT. MUST HAVE BEEN INSTINCT.

Foggy: They tried to hug Claire while you were smothering yourself in a pillow.

Matt: I KNOW. I FELT THEM. I COULDN'T STOP.

Foggy: So the one crawling into my pants -

Matt: PLEASE KILL ME I'M SORRY

Foggy: No hey who said I was complain - WHOA there, that - oh god, look at you shiver. You REALLY feel that, huh?

Matt: *whimpers*

Re: Tentacle porn

[(Anonymous)]

*crying with joy*

THIS. THIS TENTACLE WORLD IS THE ONE I WANT TO LIVE IN.

the one where matt's subconscious manifests in a pile of eldrich tentacles

Re: Tentacle porn

[(Anonymous)]

HEYOOOOOOO, THIS IS SOMETHING I DEFINITELY WANT.

Re: Tentacle porn

[(Anonymous)]

for some reason the idea that the tentacles have freckles is cracking me up...

Re: Tentacle porn

[(Anonymous)]

i love the idea that MATT is horrifically freaked out by his tentacles and foggy is like: eh. your cuddly sex tentacles are not the worst thing that's happened this year.

karen: they're pretty, y'know?

claire: they're so cuddly. something you want to say, Matt?

Re: Tentacle porn

[(Anonymous)]

I'm picturing Stick's reaction to the tentacles. It's funny.

Re: Tentacle porn

[(Anonymous)]

I think he would be like, "Okay, now learn to control them and you can wield eight weapons at once."

Matt's like, "Huh, good idea."

Foggy's like, "No! These are the tentacles of a lover, not a fighter! They're so cuddly!"

Re: Tentacle porn

[(Anonymous)]

Imagine him masturbating.

what about them? i'm all about them (1/?)

[(Anonymous)]

“Oh my good God, Matt.”

Matt Murdock wakes up on a hot Tuesday morning with a – thing sprouting from somewhere near his shoulder blade.

Arguably, this is not the worst thing that has happened to him in the course of his secret career as Daredevil.

It’s quickly making its way to number one, though.

“Matt. Matt, this is a tentacle. Coming out of your body. This is, um. It’s certainly a tentacle.”

“It’s not a tentacle,” Matt groans. It’s definitely not a tentacle. It can’t be a tentacle. Tentacles are a very specific appendage limited to cephalopods, and last time he checked, he was no squid. If it was a tentacle, this would just be another chapter in a book titled The Continuing Saga of the Downward Spiral That is a One Matthew Murdock’s Life, Which is Terrible and The Worst.

“I mean.” And Foggy strokes it, why is he stroking it oh god which makes Matt shiver like he was just dumped in an ice bath. “I’m no expert on marine life here, I got a C in eleventh grade Bio, but. It’s definitely a tentacle, friend.”

The tentacle, on the other hand, curls around Foggy’s hand and nuzzles at his wrist, because on top of being a very unwelcome guest in Matt’s anatomy, it’s also a giant traitor bastard.

“Aw, it likes me,” Foggy coos, and Matt buries his face in his hands.

--

i....guys, i don't know what i'm doing and i have no idea where this is going, but, uh, i guess i've roped myself into something here. the title of this fic originally refers to braces, by the way, but because i don't have any songs directly relevant to horrifying yet cuddly eldtritch body tentacles, i had to improvise.

enjoy and may god save me from this inevitable downward spiral into sin.

Re: what about them? i'm all about them (1/?)

[(Anonymous)]

*cackles and settles into a nearby anemone for more*

Re: what about them? i'm all about them (1/?)

[(Anonymous)]

i would like you to know that i am torn between cooing at how FUCKING CUTE this is and shrieking with joy (MATT'S TERRIBLE LIFE, YISS) and also: keeping my fingers crossed for sexy times? so. yeah.

what about them? i'm all about them (2/?)

[(Anonymous)]

“You did what now,” Matt hisses, and the tentacle – no, two tentacles now – snap viciously.

“Dude, you’ve been ‘out sick’ for two days. We’ve been ‘out sick’ for two days. The hell was I supposed to tell her?”

Matt’s on his stomach, which is the only thing currently preventing him from shooting a particularly withering look somewhere in the ballpark of the left side of Foggy’s jaw. “Hmm, I dunno. Let me take a wild guess: ‘Hey, Karen, we think we’ve both come down with a crippling case of strep and we might just cause the next New York Crisis if we step outside, maybe take the week off while we shovel down antibacterials’?”

There’s a long silence.

“Fuck,” Foggy sighs.

“Yeah, ‘fuck’ seems about the appropriate response,” and Matt kicks Foggy’s leg. The tentacles swat Foggy’s thigh irritably.

“I think I’m gonna name this one Matthew Junior, since it’s the original and best,” Foggy announces, letting the first one curl around his thumb affectionately. “Also because it likes me the best.”

“Franklin Nelson you are not naming my tentacles,” Matt groans, his head back underneath a pillow.

“Aw, so you admit they're tentacles? That's wonderful. Acceptance is the first step to recovery, y'know. This other one’ll be called Morrissey, since it’s an unnecessarily hateful little shit.”

Lobbing another pillow at Foggy’s head, Matt grumbles, “I hate you.”

Re: what about them? i'm all about them (2/?)

[(Anonymous)]

JUST BE AWARE THAT THESE ARE TEARS OF HAPPY LAUGHING ANON

bless u and ur cow

what about them? i'm all about them (3/?)

[(Anonymous)]

“Um.” Says Karen, which really sets the mood of the afternoon, if you asked Matt.

“Yes,” Foggy agrees. “Yes, I am with you one hundred percent on that one.”

The scene Karen walks in on is – well, it’s certainly a sight to behold. Matt’s still on his bed, in his underwear, the two tentacles (Matthew Junior and Morrissey) (shut up, Foggy, they are not named that) wrapped fondly around Foggy’s forearm.

Karen scrubs a hand across her eyes, as if to make sure what she was currently taking in was not some wild fever dream produced by too much cold pizza at two in the morning.

“Okay.”

Matt can hear the clack of her removing her heels and the whump of her purse hitting the couch, and oh God she’s padding over to the bed, please God strike me down with a lightning bolt, end my suffering quickly. The bed dips further under Karen and Foggy’s combined weight and Matt considers the benefits of smothering himself with his own pillow.

“You said you weren’t keeping any more secrets, Matt!” Karen exclaims, mock hurt in her tone.

“This is new,” Matt whines, and – shit. The newer tentacle strokes at Karen’s hair. “This is very new, Karen, trust me, and I don’t know how to make it stop that—“

Karen isn’t listening. Karen is too busy giggling, playing with Tentacle Number Two as it twirls her hair. “I mean, they’re very cute, in their own weird way.”

“You two are possibly the least bothered people in the room that I have magic tentacles growing out of my person,” mutters Matt, “and I’m not sure whether to be relieved or very, very concerned that the robot takeover succeeded and I’m actually talking to cyborg versions of my friends. Foggy, what’s my favorite football team?”

“Trick question. You hate football.”

“Pass.” Matt concedes, frowning. “I think I gotta get Claire to come check these.”

“Oh my God, Matt. I just realized. They’re the color of your glasses,” Foggy right now is a fat ball of pure glee and Karen’s giggling and Matt – well, Matt’s beginning to wish he had teleportation powers. Or maybe the power to just turn invisible for extended periods of time.

Forever, actually. Forever seems pretty good.

“Okay, seriously, hand me the burner phone, I gotta call Claire.”

“Aw,” is all Foggy says.

--

i hope one of the above anons doesn't mind me yoinking some of their proposed dialogue for this, oops (if you want i could credit you when this goes up on ao3?)

Re: what about them? i'm all about them (3/?)

[(Anonymous)]

Cutesy hilarious tentacle fluff ft. one very flustered Matthew Michael Murdock who hates his life? Potential OT4 (maybe)? Oh my god, it's Christmas.
Bless you, anon.

Re: what about them? i'm all about them (3/?)

[(Anonymous)]

OMG you made my dialogue so awesome and i love this! please do continue. :D

Re: what about them? i'm all about them (3/?)

[(Anonymous)]

THIS IS SO AMAZING. It's so freaking cute like?!! I was not expecting this????!! And the dialogue is so good and just the tentacles being FOND I can't stand it it's too much I want more ahhhhhhhhhhh

what about them? i'm all about them (4/?)

[(Anonymous)]

“Why did you call me for this,” Claire says, and from the slight displacement of the air and the faint waft of deodorant (unscented), Matt guesses she just gestured.

“She just waved at all of you,” Foggy confirms, and Matt makes a defeated noise into the pillow.

“Bruises, I could do,” Claire starts, and there’s the snap of latex gloves. “Stitches? I could do. I definitely do stitches. Internal bleeding? No problem. But when my patient turns up looking like something out of a Lovecraft novel—“

Claire makes a noise that’s somewhere between frustration and perplexity, and Matt can’t agree with her more. There’s no ceremony in the way that she sits down on the bed and begins examining Matt, fussing with Karen and Foggy to remove their paws from her patient, please.

“Are they hurting you?” Claire interrogates, and Matt’s brain shuts down entirely when Claire presses at the root of one tentacle, right at the juncture where it meets the skin of his back. His body involuntarily shudders and God Matt prays Claire doesn’t realize what that just was.

“No,” Matt says, and for once he isn’t putting on a happy face to make Claire worry less. “No, they’re just. I can’t go out like this, Claire, you understand –“

He doesn’t finish that thought, Instead, he buries his face deeper into the pillow and lets Foggy rub his back, everywhere the tentacles aren’t. This is – relatively speaking? fine – this absolutely does not take the cake for Bad Things Happening to Matt Murdock. Nobu still holds that title, followed closely by microbots that were released into his respiratory system by some high-tech terrorist organization, AIM or HYDRA or whatever, he couldn’t keep track of them anymore, making their way to his brain and temporarily, but completely, blinding him.

Nearly dying and nearly becoming insensate. Tentacles were, erm, an entirely different beast. “I can’t leave my apartment looking like. This.”

“If I understood anything about this, Matt, you’d be the first to know,” And Claire gets out her phone, taps away on it until she makes a pleased sound. “But I think I know someone who could help you.”

“Define help,” Matt says, because if help in this case means getting Stark to scoop the tentacles out of his back like a melon baller, he’s beginning to consider the merits of being bedridden for the rest of his life.

“He’s…a renowned surgeon,” Claire replies, choosing her words carefully, “also happens to be networked with the Avengers, now, though his thing isn’t really being an asshole with tons of money or a radioactive science experiment or, uh, a literal god. Hell of a wizard, though.”

“Oh my God,” Karen says. “You don’t know Stephen Strange.”

“I’d like to know how you know that name,” Matt says, but no one listens to him, as per usual.

So Claire does know Stephen Strange, because apparently all medical professionals know each other or something, and she patches a call through to him asking for a very special house call and that’s the story of how Doctor Strange is going to be paying Matt a visit this next Wednesday.

“Please don’t tell me you told him I was Daredevil,” Matt groans.

“He doesn’t need me to tell him. Sorcerer Supreme? All-Knowing Protector of the Realm? He already knows, Matt. And he’s very pleasant to deal with, too, so just cool your jets, hm?”

“He’s hot, too,” Foggy adds. “I mean. You’d probably figure that out eventually, I just wanted to let you know."

--

this is! not really that much of a fill, sorry guys! i've been having too many ideas regarding the direction of this fic and i think i've got a cohesive plan down but just bear with me here. also, because i apparently cannot help myself, i added in a little reference to mark waid's daredevil -- the microbots that rendered matt insensate. in the comic they were administered by dr. doom, but since dr. doom is apparently licensed by fox in the cinematic world (he's the antagonist of the new fantastic 4 movie? WHO KNEW), the microbots now get blamed on AIM and HYDRA, since i'm pretty sure marvel retains the rights to those organizations.

also, this takes place in some weird offshoot reality where doctor strange is still played by joaquin phoenix and is actually attractive. live with it.

Re: what about them? i'm all about them (4/?)

[(Anonymous)]

Ummmm, in our current reality doctor strange is played by benedict cumberbatch. Not that I object to you recasting for this, but are you seriously implying benedict cumberbatch isn't attractive? Because I'm pretty sure that amounts to declaring war on tumblr......

Re: what about them? i'm all about them (4/?)

[(Anonymous)]

Hehe, I got the microbots reference! It's one of my favorite Waid stories.

Yay, bring on Strange. This fic continues to be amazing.

Re: what about them? i'm all about them (4/?)

[(Anonymous)]

Oh man. I only recently started reading the comics and it's so exciting to be able to get the references XD

I continue to adore this <333