I started my fandom journey sith the Sherlock Kink Meme and it was such a toxic place. I picked up an awful lot of bad habits there (lowkey kinkshaming, open flaming, passive-aggressive counterprompting, trashing people's identities because they didn't share my ships...) I had no idea that wasn't just how fandom was, and it's taken a good while to unlearn that.
And because it was a relatively safe way to explore my kinks, chief among which is noncon so it probably could have been worse, I stayed there for about three years. When I quit - because Moffat trashed asexuality as "boring" and I didn't want anything to do with Sherlock any more, o gods of irony forgive me - my anxiety got so much better. I got so much more sleep, worried so much less about what person was going to pick my latest fill apart, stopped isolating myself, became kinder IRL. And it was a holistic thing, and other factors did contribute to my improved wellbeing, but I still think leaving the Sherlock Kink Meme was the best thing my nineteen year old self did. I'm ashamed it took so long, but it wasn't quite too late.
So yeah, anon. I feel you. This meme is a healthy place. <3
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And because it was a relatively safe way to explore my kinks, chief among which is noncon so it probably could have been worse, I stayed there for about three years. When I quit - because Moffat trashed asexuality as "boring" and I didn't want anything to do with Sherlock any more, o gods of irony forgive me - my anxiety got so much better. I got so much more sleep, worried so much less about what person was going to pick my latest fill apart, stopped isolating myself, became kinder IRL. And it was a holistic thing, and other factors did contribute to my improved wellbeing, but I still think leaving the Sherlock Kink Meme was the best thing my nineteen year old self did. I'm ashamed it took so long, but it wasn't quite too late.
So yeah, anon. I feel you. This meme is a healthy place. <3