My apologies to the OP, but I couldn't get the funny version out of my head. I would totally love to see a serious version, though!

POSITIVE INFLUENCE

Danny’s intel had said it was a house, just outside of Kyoto, but when Jessica looked up at it, the only word that came to mind was “castle.” The walls rose up, sheer and windowless for multiple storeys, daring anyone foolish enough to scale them. Jessica tried not to imagine Matt trapped inside.

All they’d had was a cryptic note, sent to Rand Enterprises, ostensibly from Matt. “I’m alive. With Elektra. Don't come after me.” And suddenly, Jessica was in the middle of a jet-setting, international chase. They’d get word that Matt and Elektra had been spotted in Sao Paolo, Tunis, New Delhi, but every time the Rand jet landed, they were only greeted by confounded local investigators or silent Hand operatives. The photos the investigators had taken of the pair mocked Jessica from inside their folder on the plane: Elektra parading Matt around like her prize poodle. In one shot, Matt’s sleeve had ridden up enough for Jessica to see the ring of reddened skin around his wrist.

Danny had gotten the big break in Hong Kong, when he’d tracked down a Hand operative who had told them that Matt was being held captive at the Kyoto house. Not for the first time, Jessica wished she had Matt’s hearing, wished she could be sure he was inside.

“You want to take Danny?” Luke said, nudging her.

“You can take him, it’s your turn,” Jessica said. Luke shrugged, and turned around so Danny could climb on his back. “Wait. I’ve got a better idea.”

It was a beautiful sight, watching the Immortal Iron Fist sail through the air to the lowest level of windows, glowing fist held aloft, propelled by Luke’s immense strength. The Fist smashed through the window (and a good part of the wall), and Luke and Jessica glanced at each other and shrugged.

"Ladies first,” Luke said.

Jessica jumped, grabbing the bottom of the hole Danny had punched in the wall, and hauled herself into the room where Danny was already fighting off about five ninjas. Luke was right on Jessica’s tail, and, yes, it was still funny when ninjas tried to slash at him with their swords. Five broken katanas and four unconscious ninjas later, Jessica had her hand around the throat of the fifth.

“Where’s Matt Murdock?” she snarled. The ninja said something in Japanese. “Matt Murdock, asshole!”

“I think he’s saying…two floors up?” Danny said. “Two floors up?” he repeated, holding up two fingers and pointing up.

“Hai,” said the ninja.

“Two floors up.”

“OK.” Jessica punched the ninja, letting him slide to the floor.

“When’d you learn Japanese?” Luke said.

“Colleen’s been teaching me,” Danny said.

“Right. Let’s go,” Jessica said.

They charged up the stairs, fighting off the occasional ninja, then down the hallway two floors up, past sliding rice paper doors. They turned the corner just as one opened and - 

“Hey, guys.”

Jessica had never been so happy in her life to hear a man’s voice.

He looked like hell. He was holding a cotton kimono closed over himself, but Jessica could see the red rings around his wrists and scabbed-over scratch marks on his chest. What the hell was Elektra doing to him?

“Matt, come on, we’re going to get you out of here,” Luke said, stepping forward.

“Uh...you know…” Matt wasn’t moving, the idiot.

“We can protect you, we just need to move now,” Danny said.

“That’s great, guys, but you really shouldn’t have come.”

Jessica instinctively looked over her shoulder, because any time someone says “you shouldn’t have come,” it usually means someone is sneaking up behind you. The corridor was empty.

“Dude, we got your message, let’s go before Elektra gets back,” Jessica said.

"She's actually just in the bathroom right now,” he said, jerking a thumb over his shoulder. "We were, uh…”

Jessica looked over Matt’s shoulder where his thumb had pointed, and finally paid attention to what she could see inside the room. And the unmistakable smell coming from it.

“Are you fucking your dead ex?” she said.

“Well, she’s not technically dead anymore?”

“Seriously, man?” Luke said. “After everything she’s done?”

“She’s the leader of the Hand now,” Danny said petulantly.

“Yeah, and…we’re working on reforming it…as an organization,” Matt said. “And she’s a lot less…murder-y…nowadays.”

“Because she’s busy fucking you?” Jessica said.

“I think I’m having a really positive influence on her.”

“Matthew!” came Elektra’s voice from inside. “I thought I told you…oh, hello.” She greeted the New Yorkers with the approximate warmth of a glacier. “I didn’t know we had guests.”

“They just dropped by,” Matt said, as Elektra plastered herself against his back, one hand snaking inside his robe.

“Isn’t that lovely?”

Jessica could see Elektra trying to kill them all through sheer force of will.

“You know, maybe we should meet up tomorrow instead,” Matt said, his breath hitching on the last word as Elektra’s hand moved over his chest. Jessica caught a glimpse of a clamp on his nipple when the kimono shifted.

“Yeah, let’s get out of here,” Luke said.

“Thanks for stopping by!” Elektra chirped. She leaned up and bit the lobe of Matt’s ear.

“Ugh, God,” Jessica said, turning away.

“I’ll…uh…yeah…” Matt said as Elektra dragged him backwards, sliding the door shut. Unfortunately for Jessica, she could still hear their voices as she retreated down the hall with Luke and Danny.

“Gross,” she muttered as she heard the sound of leather hitting flesh.

“Danny?” Luke said as they emerged into the night air.

“Yeah?”

“Is there any chance that the guy you found used the word ‘dungeon’ when he mentioned Matt?”

“Yeah! He said Elektra was keeping Matt tied up in her dungeon! I told you that!”

“No, you said she was keeping him prisoner,” Jessica said. “Are there any bars around here?”

“We’ll find one,” Luke said.

“The guy must have been lying!” Danny said.

“Yeah, Danny…” Jessica said. “OK, when a man loves a zombie very, very much…”