(uh. also now have like three paragraphs of...weird...AU...religious...guilt? tw: suicidal ideation? what is even fuck's sake happening here? soon we will be back to people snarling about how they wanna suck each others dicks over the telephone don't fret friends)
When he was younger, and angry, he'd asked the priest how it could possibly be fair, how could god give someone a blind soulmate.
"I've heard this question before," the priest had said. He had, too; he'd only been spending half his attention on Matt. How young had Matt been, back then? Young enough that he remembered Foggy as a criminally young voice, big, marijuana/pizza-scented hands, and Josie threatening to call the Nelsons about them constantly. "You should remember Abraham and Sarai, and consider why God might give a man a barren soulmate. Or," and here the priest's voice had caught, so slightly that Matt was pretty sure no one else could hear it, "or David and Jonathan, soulmates although their fathers were enemies."
(He had once with his whole heart spent the night on his knees, praying. Foggy had been away, visiting his family, and Matt had promised on his word that he was fine, he was going to spend the night with - Melissa? - Melissa. And instead he'd wound up on the floor in their dorm, begging God silently, foggy, foggy, please, i'll make everything up to him if You change it and make it so he's mine, he was meant for me, please.
Foggy's seen him naked a hundred times. They're brothers. And Matt's soulmark is not at all the fit to Franklin Nelson's, because despite everything, there's too much of the devil in the Murdock boys, and there's too much good in the Nelsons.)
So. No happy ending for Matt, no David and Jonathan, no Abraham and Sarai. Sometimes (late at night, when he was sure everyone was asleep, or after he'd crawled into his apartment through the window and laid face up on the bed panting himself past the pain for a couple hours of sleep, wondering if he could wash the sheets and get away with it or if he'd have to find somewhere to toss them and buy clean, non-blood stained ones) he'd think: well. if i died before I met them, whoever they are, I wouldn't - ever - have to hear the disappointment. It wouldn't be a sin, it would just be an...accident.
But lately, though, Matt hadn't been able to think about giving up without the quick heat - if I'm gone, he'd thought, then who - who will watch out for Fisk? Karen? Foggy? Urich, even?
(And deeper, lower, because Matt has a temper: and let him win? NO. Never.)
Re: Matt/Fisk Soulmate AU (another piece of fill, author!anon has lost control of the prompt)
When he was younger, and angry, he'd asked the priest how it could possibly be fair, how could god give someone a blind soulmate.
"I've heard this question before," the priest had said. He had, too; he'd only been spending half his attention on Matt. How young had Matt been, back then? Young enough that he remembered Foggy as a criminally young voice, big, marijuana/pizza-scented hands, and Josie threatening to call the Nelsons about them constantly. "You should remember Abraham and Sarai, and consider why God might give a man a barren soulmate. Or," and here the priest's voice had caught, so slightly that Matt was pretty sure no one else could hear it, "or David and Jonathan, soulmates although their fathers were enemies."
(He had once with his whole heart spent the night on his knees, praying. Foggy had been away, visiting his family, and Matt had promised on his word that he was fine, he was going to spend the night with - Melissa? - Melissa. And instead he'd wound up on the floor in their dorm, begging God silently, foggy, foggy, please, i'll make everything up to him if You change it and make it so he's mine, he was meant for me, please.
Foggy's seen him naked a hundred times. They're brothers. And Matt's soulmark is not at all the fit to Franklin Nelson's, because despite everything, there's too much of the devil in the Murdock boys, and there's too much good in the Nelsons.)
So. No happy ending for Matt, no David and Jonathan, no Abraham and Sarai. Sometimes (late at night, when he was sure everyone was asleep, or after he'd crawled into his apartment through the window and laid face up on the bed panting himself past the pain for a couple hours of sleep, wondering if he could wash the sheets and get away with it or if he'd have to find somewhere to toss them and buy clean, non-blood stained ones) he'd think: well. if i died before I met them, whoever they are, I wouldn't - ever - have to hear the disappointment. It wouldn't be a sin, it would just be an...accident.
But lately, though, Matt hadn't been able to think about giving up without the quick heat - if I'm gone, he'd thought, then who - who will watch out for Fisk? Karen? Foggy? Urich, even?
(And deeper, lower, because Matt has a temper: and let him win? NO. Never.)