I am laughing TOO MUCH because I was idly wondering why the venue of his birth would affect his preferred penis type

and now I'm imagining horse!Matt

not a centaur nor an actual horse, just a confused human man who was raised by horses and believes he is a horse, spends his days doing horse activities, is perpetually sad that he can't attract a horse mate because he's small and weirdly bald, drinks from a trough.

His horse mother is very protective and nudges him towards the baffled equally-bald strange horse who has no idea what the fuck is going on here and just wanted to find somewhere to hide long enough to stitch up a few wounds but there's a functioning horse society in this secluded farm and woah this guy is getting friendly

I'm sorry, I'll stop hijacking