“Aren’t you going to ask to fuck me?” Matt asked, at the end of their first appointment.
He could hear something troubling happening in Foggy’s stomach that was likely nothing to do with the plain sandwiches they had eaten.
“At least you suggested that I ask this time,” Foggy said, too lightly. “I guess that’s progress!”
“That’s not an answer.”
Foggy stopped, his cheap shoes scuffing against the tile. “No,” he said. “I’m not going to ask you. Or tell you, for that matter. That’s not what this is about, Matt. Sex is beside the point at the moment. Okay?”
Matt nodded, and wondered whether he was supposed to feel relieved or disappointed.
He did go back, though. Three sessions, he went back, and he wasn’t sure why each time. At the end of every session, Foggy walked him to the door, stopped, and said “I hope I’ll see you next time,” with a warm hand on Matt’s shoulder. Usually, it was the only time they would touch.
They didn’t seem to do much in these sessions. They talked about Matt’s sexual history, some, about the Doms who wanted to do everything for him because he was blind and about the ones who thought they could control him from the outset. Foggy was kind and nonjudgmental, but more than that, he was funny, and smart, and he never pushed.
The fourth time he came, Foggy was already waiting for him in the hall, and Matt didn’t even both to pretend that he didn’t know Foggy’s there.
“Good to see you again,” Foggy said, and Matt knew that it was genuine. “I’d planned something a little different for today. Are you up for it?”
Matt shifted his cane to the other hand. “What exactly are we talking about here?”
“No sex,” Foggy said immediately, reading his mind. “We’ll go into the back room, and you can show me some of the things we’ve been talking about. Nothing that pushes the limits we talked about last time, okay?”
Matt licked his lips, considering, and felt a little prickle of self-satisfaction at the way Foggy’s heart skipped a beat. “Okay,” he agrees, finally.
The back room, it turned out, was a large setup that might have once been a garage. Matt could feel hard concrete under his shoes. Foggy moved through it quietly, flicking on lights- Matt could hear them buzzing- and shuffling things around. The room smelled like leather and cleaning fluids, and Matt shivered at the things his mind conjured up- the leather implements and what might have been cleaned off of them. The smell of blood was still strong under it all.
“You’re going to have to kneel,” Foggy said softly.
Matt didn’t move. “What are you doing to do to me?” he asked.
“I’m not going to do anything to you,” Foggy said. “You will breathe, and relax, and follow my orders. I will not hurt you, I will not try to have sex with you, and because you can trust me, you will obey my orders. And you will kneel.”
Matt felt the concrete under his knees before he realized that he was obeying.
Foggy chuckled. “I meant for you to wait a moment,” he said. “I can get a mat for you, Matt.”
Of all the stupid things that he had had Doms try to do to him, none of them had ever made a pun at him.
“I’m fine,” Matt said anyway. “I can handle it.”
A hand touched the back of his neck, and Matt wondered if Foggy was intentionally making enough noise behind him to warn him for this. “Yes, you’re very tough,” he said. “Now stand up, and I’ll tell you where to kneel.”
Matt obeyed.
There was a shuffling noise, and Foggy pulled something plastic and recently cleaned out of a wardrobe in one corner.
He dropped it down in front of the standing sub. “Okay,” he said. “You can kneel now.”
“Seriously?” Matt asked. “That’s your command? ‘You can kneel now’?”
“Are you going to kneel, or not?” he asked.
Matt set his jaw. “I don’t think I will, no.”
“What’s your word?” Foggy asked.
“Why, are you going to beat me bloody and try to make me submit?”
“I said I wasn’t going to hurt you, Matt,” Foggy repeated, and his voice was soft and gentle. “I keep my word. You can say ‘no’ at any time, and I will stop. But some people like to have a safeword anyway, something that will help them feel free to use it.”
When Matt hesitated, his voice went quieter. “This isn’t a test, Matt,” he said. “We’re not playing with consent here. You tell me to stop, you will. But I need to know if there’s another word I should be listening for.”
“Red,” Matt whispered.
Foggy didn’t touch him, but the feeling of someone moving behind him, so close his skin prickled. “Good boy,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Now you can kneel. The mat’s right in front of you, you should drop down right onto it.”
Matt knelt.
This time, Foggy didn’t pause before he stepped over to the side of the room. He opened something that Matt could hear humming like a mini fridge, and took out a plate that smelled like plastic wrap.
“Focus,” Foggy said firmly.
“I am focused,” Matt complained.
“No you’re not.” Foggy didn’t bother to turn around. “You’re trying to figure out what I’m doing. I see it in subs all the time when I blindfold them. You, I don’t normally see that in you. Now focus on your breathing. In and out.”
Matt breathed on the same pace that Foggy set for him.
“In.”
He breathed in.
“Out.”
He breathed out.
“You’re still not focusing,” Foggy said after a moment.
“In, out, in, out.” Matt breathed exaggeratedly. “I get it.”
“Clearly you don’t,” he said. “We’re going to start again. Breathe in. In.”
Matt breathed in, then out.
“In, Matthew.”
“I did breathe in,” Matt said. He couldn’t keep the whine out of his voice.
“And you breathed out before I told you to,” Foggy replied. “Breathe in, hold it. Trust me that I won’t push you farther than you can take.”
“Eventually I’m going to have to breathe out,” Matt pointed out. “I’ll actually just pass out if I don’t keep breathing, it’s not all a matter of self-control.”
“Did I say self-control?” Foggy’s head tilted. “I said trust me. I know your body’s limits, Matty. I’ll stop you before you stop yourself. Okay?”
Slowly, Matt nodded.
He felt a heavy hand on his shoulder. More and more, Foggy’s touches were starting to feel like rewards. “Breathe in.”
FILL: Kneel 6/?
He could hear something troubling happening in Foggy’s stomach that was likely nothing to do with the plain sandwiches they had eaten.
“At least you suggested that I ask this time,” Foggy said, too lightly. “I guess that’s progress!”
“That’s not an answer.”
Foggy stopped, his cheap shoes scuffing against the tile. “No,” he said. “I’m not going to ask you. Or tell you, for that matter. That’s not what this is about, Matt. Sex is beside the point at the moment. Okay?”
Matt nodded, and wondered whether he was supposed to feel relieved or disappointed.
He did go back, though. Three sessions, he went back, and he wasn’t sure why each time. At the end of every session, Foggy walked him to the door, stopped, and said “I hope I’ll see you next time,” with a warm hand on Matt’s shoulder. Usually, it was the only time they would touch.
They didn’t seem to do much in these sessions. They talked about Matt’s sexual history, some, about the Doms who wanted to do everything for him because he was blind and about the ones who thought they could control him from the outset. Foggy was kind and nonjudgmental, but more than that, he was funny, and smart, and he never pushed.
The fourth time he came, Foggy was already waiting for him in the hall, and Matt didn’t even both to pretend that he didn’t know Foggy’s there.
“Good to see you again,” Foggy said, and Matt knew that it was genuine. “I’d planned something a little different for today. Are you up for it?”
Matt shifted his cane to the other hand. “What exactly are we talking about here?”
“No sex,” Foggy said immediately, reading his mind. “We’ll go into the back room, and you can show me some of the things we’ve been talking about. Nothing that pushes the limits we talked about last time, okay?”
Matt licked his lips, considering, and felt a little prickle of self-satisfaction at the way Foggy’s heart skipped a beat. “Okay,” he agrees, finally.
The back room, it turned out, was a large setup that might have once been a garage. Matt could feel hard concrete under his shoes. Foggy moved through it quietly, flicking on lights- Matt could hear them buzzing- and shuffling things around. The room smelled like leather and cleaning fluids, and Matt shivered at the things his mind conjured up- the leather implements and what might have been cleaned off of them. The smell of blood was still strong under it all.
“You’re going to have to kneel,” Foggy said softly.
Matt didn’t move. “What are you doing to do to me?” he asked.
“I’m not going to do anything to you,” Foggy said. “You will breathe, and relax, and follow my orders. I will not hurt you, I will not try to have sex with you, and because you can trust me, you will obey my orders. And you will kneel.”
Matt felt the concrete under his knees before he realized that he was obeying.
Foggy chuckled. “I meant for you to wait a moment,” he said. “I can get a mat for you, Matt.”
Of all the stupid things that he had had Doms try to do to him, none of them had ever made a pun at him.
“I’m fine,” Matt said anyway. “I can handle it.”
A hand touched the back of his neck, and Matt wondered if Foggy was intentionally making enough noise behind him to warn him for this. “Yes, you’re very tough,” he said. “Now stand up, and I’ll tell you where to kneel.”
Matt obeyed.
There was a shuffling noise, and Foggy pulled something plastic and recently cleaned out of a wardrobe in one corner.
He dropped it down in front of the standing sub. “Okay,” he said. “You can kneel now.”
“Seriously?” Matt asked. “That’s your command? ‘You can kneel now’?”
“Are you going to kneel, or not?” he asked.
Matt set his jaw. “I don’t think I will, no.”
“What’s your word?” Foggy asked.
“Why, are you going to beat me bloody and try to make me submit?”
“I said I wasn’t going to hurt you, Matt,” Foggy repeated, and his voice was soft and gentle. “I keep my word. You can say ‘no’ at any time, and I will stop. But some people like to have a safeword anyway, something that will help them feel free to use it.”
When Matt hesitated, his voice went quieter. “This isn’t a test, Matt,” he said. “We’re not playing with consent here. You tell me to stop, you will. But I need to know if there’s another word I should be listening for.”
“Red,” Matt whispered.
Foggy didn’t touch him, but the feeling of someone moving behind him, so close his skin prickled. “Good boy,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Now you can kneel. The mat’s right in front of you, you should drop down right onto it.”
Matt knelt.
This time, Foggy didn’t pause before he stepped over to the side of the room. He opened something that Matt could hear humming like a mini fridge, and took out a plate that smelled like plastic wrap.
“Focus,” Foggy said firmly.
“I am focused,” Matt complained.
“No you’re not.” Foggy didn’t bother to turn around. “You’re trying to figure out what I’m doing. I see it in subs all the time when I blindfold them. You, I don’t normally see that in you. Now focus on your breathing. In and out.”
Matt breathed on the same pace that Foggy set for him.
“In.”
He breathed in.
“Out.”
He breathed out.
“You’re still not focusing,” Foggy said after a moment.
“In, out, in, out.” Matt breathed exaggeratedly. “I get it.”
“Clearly you don’t,” he said. “We’re going to start again. Breathe in. In.”
Matt breathed in, then out.
“In, Matthew.”
“I did breathe in,” Matt said. He couldn’t keep the whine out of his voice.
“And you breathed out before I told you to,” Foggy replied. “Breathe in, hold it. Trust me that I won’t push you farther than you can take.”
“Eventually I’m going to have to breathe out,” Matt pointed out. “I’ll actually just pass out if I don’t keep breathing, it’s not all a matter of self-control.”
“Did I say self-control?” Foggy’s head tilted. “I said trust me. I know your body’s limits, Matty. I’ll stop you before you stop yourself. Okay?”
Slowly, Matt nodded.
He felt a heavy hand on his shoulder. More and more, Foggy’s touches were starting to feel like rewards. “Breathe in.”
Matt breathed.