OP - Whoo! Holy cow, Anon... *fans self* Yet another first-time porn writer who certainly knows their stuff, haha.

There's a lot to like here, but I think the double entendre here is my fav: (Open mouth, insert...)

I literally laughed out loud there. A+

Oh, I also really like the last line. Brings it all together in a nice (re: heartbreaking) kind of way.