Foggy: (a few days later) Hey, Matty, can we talk for a sec?
Matt: *sits up very abruptly* YES. Yes. I love talking. Let’s totally talk. Great.
Foggy: Awesome. So, uh...I know I’ve been kind of distant lately.
Matt: *cheerfully* That’s okay. I figured you needed some time to yourself. Or were seeing someone.
Foggy: *strangled noise* Something like that.
Matt: Or visiting your grandma. The muffins were great, by the way, thank you.
Foggy: Oh, yeah, anytime.
Matt: You’re so good to me.
Foggy: Yeah, well, you know--
Matt: I want to be good to you, too.
Foggy: *chokes* Oh. OH. Well. That’s. Great, buddy. So, uh--
Matt: *leans forward eagerly* Yes?
Foggy: I just.
Matt: Yeees?
Foggy: I, um.
Matt: Yeeees?
Foggy: Wanted to be sure you were okay. And didn’t feel. Uh. Stalked, or anything.
Matt: *deflates* Stalked?
Foggy: Yeah. I have this ex in town who’s, um. Kind of. Crazy. I think.
Matt: *flatly* Crazy.
Foggy: Yeah. So I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t giving you any shit.
Matt: Oh.
Foggy: So, everything is good?
Matt: Uh. Yeah. Good. Great.
(later)
DD: *pops into Foggy’s flat* Do you need help confessing?
Foggy: *throws a whisk at him* sTOP sTALKING uS
DD: Seriously, should I write you a script?
Foggy: nO I am cOOKING DINNER go AWAY
DD: I brought wine. *holds up a bottle of white wine that creepily complements the fish frying on the stove* And a spreadsheet of date suggestions based on activities both of you are known to enjoy. *holds up thumbdrive*
Foggy: *whimpers*
DD: And a gift card to Spartacus Se--
Foggy: Finish that sentence and I will end you, so help me, God.